A Heartfelt Letter to a Hated Abuser
Downloaded July 17, 2003
The following is an angry letter written by Jeffrey Haines to Richard A. Cochrane, the Catholic priest who molested him in 1991. Haines' mother, Nancy Haines of Augusta, Maine, read the letter out loud to Cochrane before the priest was sentenced to 18 to 48 months in jail after pleading no contest to statutory sexual assault.
Nancy Haines said her son is slowly recovering from the abuse he suffered at Cochrane's hands. She said Jeffrey was so "overwhelmed" he decided to stay home.
"I am addressing you, Cork, the one person who truly represents the scum of society. Words can not and will not ever truly express the hatred I feel towards you.
"What you did to me, physically and psychologically, will disturb me, my family and every person I have any type of relationship with for the rest of my life. Your inability to plead 'guilty' demonstrates to me you can't admit what you did, and that makes my ability to move on with my life, as well as forgive you, extraordinarily difficult.
"Your denial and running from your responsibility for abusing me makes me angry, to say the least. I wanted to come to this sentencing to speak my words first hand, but I have a responsibility to my job. I accept and respond appropriately to my responsibilities with my job, UNLIKE YOU. You used your job, just like you used me, to satisfy your hedonistic needs. I now strive to be everything you are not: honest, loyal, responsible, caring, loving, trustworthy, dependable and unselfish, to name a few.
You deserve to die — and when you die, whenever it is, if there is a God (the existence of which your actions have made me doubt) I hope He makes you suffer for eternity for my pain, the pain you've created for my family and the other children you've sexually molested and their families.
"No pain in this life that you experience will ever compensate me for the mental and physical hell you've put me through, but it is my mission in life to make sure that as many days of your life are as miserable, painful and Hell-like as possible.
"This anger and rage you hear in my words is straight from the heart. I don't think I'd feel this intense if you had just said, 'Jeff, I did it and I am truly sorry. I'll do what I can to get help and not hurt others.' ... But No! You ran out of the country, you hid behind the power and money of the Catholic Church, the church's influence, money, lawyers and motions for this and that. My passion to see you permanently unhappy is fueled by such actions. I want to see YOU cry.
"You are a predator, a child molester. ...
"I am educated enough now to know that your brain must be biochemically and neurologically out of balance to do what you did. There is no proven, effective, long-term treatment for child sex offenders. Basically, I believe your life is not worth living. You can't be treated or cured.
"You'll always be aroused by boys and that's disgusting. The fact that, with your education and life experience, you haven't recognized your problems appalls me.
"I know that when you get out you don't have to register as a sex offender due to the plea agreement.
"I will make it my mission in life to make sure any and all people surrounding you know what you did to me and what you could do to their kids. It's a little late for 'sorry' now.
"Rot in jail and rot in Hell if there is one. You've scarred me for life, and I live for the days to see you in pain and, ultimately, dead.
"Enjoy your cell. I can't wait to read your obituary in the paper someday. Then, and only then, will I truly be happy."
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