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	Priests Still Grieve over Abuse Report By Emilie Lounsberry Philadelphia Inquirer [Pennsylvania] October 23, 2003 Late at night, in the quiet of their rectories, they read the blistering grand jury report, taking stock of the horrifying accounts of abuse and the number of priests they knew: spiritual advisers, seminary classmates, fellow clergy. "It was nauseating. I was in shock," recalled the Rev. Frederick Riegler, pastor of St. Isidore's Church in Quakertown, Bucks County. The Rev. Robert A. McLaughlin, pastor at St. Basil the Great in Kimberton, Chester County, said he spent two or three nights "using up every hankie in the building." One was his spiritual director; another his confessor. Six were seminary classmates. In all, he figured he knew more than half of the 63 priests identified in the report. "It just tears your heart out," said McLaughlin. Across the region, such visceral feelings have uncharacteristically spilled out publicly in the month since the release of the grand jury report that documented sex abuse by priests in the Philadelphia Archdiocese. From the pulpit and in interviews, parish priests have expressed outrage, sadness and shock about the abuse, about the priests identified in the report, and about how church leaders failed to protect children from predator priests. Some of them confronted Cardinal Justin Rigali at a meeting on the subject on Sept. 27, six days after the report came out. Others have held parish forums so congregants could talk about the scandal. And some believe more needs to be done, such as giving laypeople more of a say in church matters or adopting other reforms to ensure that such a scandal never happens again. "It's not going to go away," the Rev. J. Thomas Heron, pastor of St. Gabriel's in Norwood, Delaware County, said last week. "I know many priests are tired of hearing it, but at the same time, it's very real, and because it's real, it can't be ignored." Most expressed the hope that Rigali, who took over the Philadelphia Archdiocese in 2003, understands the depth of their disconsolate feelings - and their desire to speak out. "We need to foster a more positive atmosphere in which questions can be asked, and questions are not immediately seen as threats," said Msgr. John Miller, the pastor at St. Frances Cabrini Church in Fairless Hills, Bucks County. Rigali has been in Rome and is due back this week. Several priests nervously wondered how he might react to their candor. In its 418-page report, the grand jury documented scores of crimes by dozens of priests, but concluded that the statute of limitations had expired. The panel said former church officials, including Cardinals Anthony J. Bevilacqua and John Krol, buried abuse reports, ignored warnings about abusive priests, and transferred predator priests from parish to parish, endangering children. Days after the report was issued, 300 priests met with Rigali, with some challenging his defense of Bevilacqua and Krol. The session was remarkable because, in the clerical culture, priests do not generally confront their archbishop, let alone do so in front of fellow priests. In interviews, some priests also took issue with archdiocesan attacks on the grand jury report as anti-Catholic, and with Rigali's letter, which was to have been distributed at all Masses the weekend after the Sept. 21 grand jury report. The letter said the report was "unjustifiably critical" of Bevilacqua, Krol and other archdiocesan administrators. Several priests said they steered clear of the letter in homilies out of concern that congregants would walk out, and at Divine Mercy Church in Southwest Philadelphia, a woman and two young girls did just that as a priest discussed the letter. If he had read the cardinal's letter, McLaughlin said, "I wouldn't have had 30 people in church the next Sunday." Riegler said he distributed the letter, and urged his parishioners to read the grand jury report. He said he told them they should know what happened. "I am not going to explain this thing away," said Riegler, who added that he could not fathom what church leaders had been thinking when they reassigned abusive priests to other parishes. "I don't want to stand in judgment, but I am just kind of stunned." Riegler, who also knew a number of the priests listed in the report, said that those priests owed their colleagues a deep apology. "I really would like to hear that," he said. Riegler said that parishioners have asked whether their weekly contributions remain in the parish, or are sent downtown to the archdiocese. "They made it plain they do not want the money to support or defend these guys," he said. McLaughlin has been especially vocal in his dissent. He has discussed the scandal in homilies and has been interviewed by reporters and on talk radio. In an interview, he called the first weekend after the report "the most terrifying weekend" of his life because he had to face his deeply hurt parishioners and didn't know quite what to say. So he stood at the altar and "let the Holy Spirit run the show." He pulled out his gun license to show what he would do to anyone who dared touch a child in his parish. He expressed a deep remorse for the victims and explained how he, too, felt deeply betrayed by church leaders. He got a standing ovation. McLaughlin and other priests are still working through their grief. It's bad enough what the predator priests did to children, they said, but as bad or worse was how church leaders covered it all up. Now, the priests are left to deal with sidelong glances from parishioners. "I don't think the hierarchy here or certainly in Rome have a clue how wounded our people are," said McLaughlin. "They should have learned it in Boston." ONLINE EXTRA For archdiocesan documents, the grand jury's report, the list of priests identified in the report, the list by assignment and parish, a discussion board, and previous coverage, go to http://go.philly.com/priests
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