By Sandi Dolbee
Union-Tribune [California]
March 17, 2007
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/20070317-9999-1n17pliska.html
Mark Pliska said he didn't want to go to church keeping secrets. It takes too much energy to hide the past. What he needed was support.
When he moved to San Diego County in December, he told the pastor of the church he wanted to attend that he was a convicted child molester and registered sex offender.
"My reason for doing that was to keep myself safe and the church safe," Pliska said in an interview yesterday.
He also wanted the congregation at Pilgrim United Church of Christ in Carlsbad to "know that I'm not this monster that the press keeps portraying sex offenders as. There are those of us who are trying to change and put our lives together and be acceptable members of society."
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| "I'm just looking for a fair shake and a chance to start a new life," said Mark Pliska, 53, who moved to the county in December. Photo by Scott Linnett / Union-Tribune |
He believes the Lord has forgiven him. He wants the church to forgive him, too.
So far, it's been a rocky journey.
In late January, after Pliska visited Pilgrim for a few Sundays, the Rev. Madison Shockley introduced him to the congregation and had Pliska tell his story. The response was so emotional – and mixed – that Pliska has agreed not to return while the congregation wrestles with the issue.
Now Pilgrim and Pliska find themselves at the center of a debate that goes far beyond one church and one sex offender. Should anyone be turned away from a house of worship? How do people of faith balance redemption with risk? What about liability issues?
Pliska has his own opinions. "I believe they should be open and embracing to anyone who wants to join their church," he said. "The past shouldn't be a qualifier for that."
But he understands it's not his decision to make. "I am willing to give them a chance to work through their discussions and give them time to put a safe-church policy together."
Pliska is 53. His beard and hair are graying. His voice is soft and sometimes uncertain. "I'm just looking for a fair shake and a chance to start a new life," he said. "That's all I'm looking for. I hope the community is willing to do that."
He was born in Sacramento, one of six children in a military family that moved a lot. Eventually, they settled in the Monterey area.
He said he was a teenager when he began having an urge to expose himself in public. In 1983, when he was in his 20s and living in Mendocino County, he was convicted of molesting two boys. They were 12 and 13, he said.
Pliska said he spent six months in jail and was released on probation. In 1998, he was convicted of exposing himself in public in Monterey County.
He said he spent seven months in prison before being sent to Atascadero State Hospital under a law that allows certain predators to be sent to mental facilities after serving their sentences. He was released last year. As a registered sex offender, he is required to report regularly to authorities and is listed on the state-sponsored Megan's Law Web site.
"I deeply regret my past behavior has caused so many problems," he said.
After several years in therapy, Pliska said he has come to believe that his problems stemmed from a combination of factors, including abandonment issues, an alcoholic parent and wrestling with his homosexuality. He said he attends several support groups – Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sexual Compulsives Anonymous among them – to help him stay on "a correct path."
Experts argue that statistics about child molestation and recidivism rates are skewed because the abuse often goes unreported. According to a report published by the U.S. Department of Justice in 2003, an estimated 3.3 percent of the 4,300 child molesters released in 1994 were arrested on suspicion of another sex crime against a child within three years. Other studies, however, place the recidivism rate much higher.
"Everyone seems to think there is no cure," Pliska said. "To me, I know I'm changed. I'm trying to change and trying to become an acceptable member of society. It's like a 12-step recovery process. It's an ongoing process that you keep working on with your problems."
But how can parents be certain their children will be safe if he goes to their church?
"I'm not any threat to children anymore," Pliska said. "I've changed my ways."
This is not the first time that Pliska has disclosed his past to a church. He did the same thing last year at First Congregational Church in Santa Cruz. That church also is part of the United Church of Christ, a liberal Protestant denomination known for being welcoming and affirming regardless of one's gender, race or sexuality.
"They asked me not to come back for I think it was just a couple of weeks so they could talk to their congregation and put in a safe-church policy," Pliska said. Among the rules he agreed to was to always have escorts. His access also was strictly limited; for example, he could not go to the education building, where Sunday school classes were held.
"I enjoyed church up there," he said. A minister at First Congregational Church echoed that, saying Pliska attended for several months without incident, and when he decided to move south, she contacted Shockley at Pilgrim.
Shockley said he hopes Pilgrim will reach a resolution in the next 60 days. Pliska already agreed to certain restrictions, but the plan is for a church group to develop a broad safety policy that can be put to a vote of the congregation.
Pliska said he got back into religion about six years ago. "It's been a guiding light for me to have the Lord guiding me to where I need to go, and the church is a place to celebrate that with other people," he said.
But these days he isn't just worried about where he'll go to church. Last week, he lost his job and was evicted after a parent at Pilgrim's preschool went public with a petition drive protesting his presence. "I'm homeless and unemployed," said Pliska, who is an auto mechanic.
If Pilgrim decides not to let him attend, he said he will look for another church. He said he doesn't regret disclosing his crimes.
"I'm hoping that by me coming out and being forthright about myself, it will bring others out to self-disclose and let the community know what's going on – for the protection of the community and themselves," he said.
"It's just a waste of time and energy to hide all the time. It just doesn't work very well."
Sandi Dolbee: (619) 293-2082; sandi.dolbee@uniontrib.com
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