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	Offenses by Priests and Leadership Test Faith By Jeff M. Jensen Milwaukee Journal Sentinel February 11, 2008 http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=716802 Civil war author and journalist Ambrose Bierce called religion "the daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable." Known for his sarcastic and caustic wit, Bierce's definition might be easily dismissed as superfluous. Still, until a better one comes along, it works for me. I grew up in the Catholic faith, and doing so in the 1950s meant being burdened with guilt, evidenced in a thousand manifestations. Though I didn't attend a parochial school, my weekend catechism classes put me in touch with priests and nuns who did their best to literally scare the hell out of me. In an almost mathematical exercise, I was encouraged to score my behavior in order that I might be given a "thumbs up" when I finally arrived at the Pearly Gates. Misdeeds (sins) were ranked according to the volume of penance it took to expunge them from my celestial record. There were venial sins, attached to such minor indiscretions as pilfering cookies, that required but a few Hail Marys to vaporize. More serious were mortal sins, described by the church as involving "a grave matter and being done with full knowledge and deliberate consent of the sinner." These transgressions were far more difficult to erase and ensured a trip to the inferno if they weren't disposed of before you met your maker. Such categorization caused my small child's brain to equate the creator with vengeance and forgiveness, a conundrum that continues to puzzle me. As manipulative as this training was, it brought me to a realization that behavior always must be linked to consequence. This fear allowed for conscience to guide the choices I made and to give me a sense of self-worth when I perceived them to be the right ones. As I grew to adulthood, the lines delineating right and wrong became more obscure, and I somehow became "old enough" to do things that had been forbidden me in my youth. Like most of my contemporaries, the plunge into puberty and beyond was a time to question the meaning of my life, especially as it related to the existence of a higher power. During this tumultuous time, the Catholic Church provided me the peace of mind I needed to be secure in my beliefs. As leader of the church, the pope was said to be infallible, and I needed only to anchor myself to his guidelines to ensure salvation. Priests and nuns, extensions of his infallibility, were thus given trust and admiration. There was, indeed, comfort in their guidance. That was then. This is now. The recent glut of information regarding the sexual abuse of children by a few of these papal extensions has provided a sobering reality check for me and, I believe, for Catholics everywhere. These transgressions have given new birth to the arguments against celibacy and the repression of procreative behavior sworn to the Catholic clergy. Instances of sexual abuse are, of course, individual acts and should not be seen as a necessary consequence of these restrictions. They must be judged on a case-by-case basis. Unlike the deviance of individuals, the calculated and secretive dishonesty of the church hierarchy cannot be explained as giving in to the forces of nature. It is a willful deception of the very individuals the leaders are charged with shepherding, and it is not worthy of my forgiveness. This outrage is just the latest blow my faith has had to withstand, but given the nature of this offense and the elevated status of those involved, it may turn out to be a knockout punch. Jeff M. Jensen of Hartland is a case manager in a social justice program. His e-mail address is criticalook@prodigy.net
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