BishopAccountability.org
	Why Did We Attack the Pope? By Jaime Romo Healing and Spirituality January 4, 2010 http://jjromo.wordpress.com/ "The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice." Doug Larson The pope was attacked by a 'crazy woman' during midnight Mass. Actually, the reports I read described her as 'mentally unbalanced.' That's a media explanation. What else might the attack mean? When there is a shooting in a school or other public place, analysts often note that the assailant was a troubled individual. That's a rational explanation. What irrational meaning might be even more useful? What if this and other extraordinary events are really best explained by the irrational and unconscious? In fact, we only use a fraction of our brain—most of what goes on around us is beyond our consciousness. If 90% of conflicts are colored by our past and 10% is really about what is going on in the here and now, it makes sense that 90% of what is going on in the here and now is operated by the unconscious. I received a note following my last blog that read, "The best results to be achieved would be for the Catholic Church to be abolished. Revenge? Hate? Absolutely not. The world would be rid of an evil cesspool from the pope on down. Priests of integrity? Name me one priest worldwide that reported sexual abuse of a child or others by a Catholic priest to their parishioners at Sunday Mass in 1950. Maybe one? And if so, what happened to him later?" I believe that this person reflects or represents many people's feelings and beliefs. My response was "I think I hear your sentiment about the world being better off without the Catholic Church, and I imagine any religion, as abuse has been a part of all groups. My sense is that there are more people who are letting go of the illusions of religious systems, and that there are still many who are very attached or even addicted to whatever faith tradition they have. So, I don't see abolition as helpful as the natural death of what can't be sustained. I am not saying that there shouldn't be accountability for religious authority or other sexual abusers. I think that civil and criminal proceedings against religious authorities who abuse children or vulnerable adults or who protect those who do, using their religious standing as justification, are part of the accountability and deep learning and change process, however slow. For me, it's a process of letting go. And it's complex, if I'm really going to be honest. Thanks for bringing up some issues that I'm sure reflect lots of people's experiences and feelings." Yes, some individuals are explicitly supported and encouraged to act in violent ways. I think that's the case in the Christmas day terrorist attempted attack, the other Christmas event. But when we look at the unconscious, we can also see that individual actions reflect lots of people's experiences in more hidden ways. I don't want to see elderly people attacked. I don't hate religion. So, I imagine that this attack represents the madness that many people feel, and not only those who have been abused by religious authorities. Those who have been betrayed by those who are given trust and authority and then allow others to be harmed might feel mad, mentally unstable. And the pope represents God, the ultimate authority figure. And many people may feel betrayed by religious leaders. When it comes to religious authority sexual abuse and its denial, there's a twist on the expression that the 'truth shall set you free.' I think that the truth may make you mad, may even make you behave in irrational ways. And for those who have been profoundly damaged by religious people, particularly by religious authorities, this 'crazy woman' might represent a real exchange between many who have been terrorized by those who murdered souls and went undetected or were allowed to continue. In a sense, she may have acted as a proxy for the rest of us, like it or not. And the official terrorist? Perhaps he represented a breakdown in security, just as there may be parishioners who believe that the abuse crisis is over, in their minds, if it ever existed. Does the terrorist also represent that festering wound of abuse that must still be recognized; is he part of our collective residual script of an eye for an eye? Rather than only interpreting these individual acts as reflective of unbalanced or hateful individuals, what if they represent our collective madness and inability to tolerate the status quo of religion or civic power? What if we each take back those feelings in ourselves and accept our part in promoting and/ or benefitting from corrupt institutions? Dr. Nathaniel Branden, in Six Pillars of Self Esteem, discusses healthy self esteem for individuals. Self acceptance, he says, means looking into the mirror and accepting, embracing the whole being. In other words, I can't reject or deny a part of self without splitting or projecting that into others. One basic phenomena in interpersonal and group dynamics is projection, which is an individual's or group's unconscious desire to disown undesirable parts of themselves because the complexity of holding these parts inside is too alarming or painful. There are many socially repugnant impulses and ethically indefensible motives in all of us. When we cannot bear to know or to own these in ourselves, we must export them to another location, usually in another individual or group, in order to keep them out of conscious awareness. The counter part of projection is in the individual's projective identification, wherein the recipient of the projection accepts the unwanted feelings of another and owns them. (Tavistock Primer, 2007) What can these incidents help us to do to address the wrongs of the past of those agents of soul and physical death who have betrayed local, national, and international believers? Dr. Branden identifies healthy ways that individuals address past wrongs: 1) Face and accept full reality of what we have done without disowning or avoidance; 2) Seek to understand why we did what we did. We do this compassionately, but without evasive alibi; 3) If others are involved, we acknowledge explicitly to the person or persons the harm we have done, and convey our understanding of the consequences of our behavior; 4) Take any and all actions available that might make amends for or minimize the harm we have done; 5) Firmly commit ourselves to behaving differently in the future. To date, has the Vatican (or any other religious group) faced and accepted full reality of the abuse of children and vulnerable adults done by its representatives without disowning or avoidance? Acceptance is not approval, and acceptance is a precondition for change. Have civic or religious leaders sought to understand why this harm happened, compassionately, but without evasive alibi? It's easier to disown behavior or issues as someone else's rather than as our collective whole. It's easier to pretend that it's someone else's responsibility or issue than to imagine that we all somehow attacked the pope. I think that the expression, 'the reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice' is useful. We are responsible for our lives, our happiness. Being responsible means living with the ability to respond, the ability to adjust, the ability to adapt. It means that we have at least a basic understanding of the context in which we live, and that we have thought about how we would like to move forward. For religious authority sexual abuse survivor-victims, it means that we will no longer be victims and we cannot deny our past abuse. For survivor supporters, it may mean that we will no longer pretend that the healing or problems related to widespread religious authority sexual abuse is finished. For all of us, it might mean recognizing and doing something more constructive with our rage related to betrayal and abuse of power. http://www.JaimeRomo.com Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment » An Interview with Rev. Dr. Sharon Ellis Davis December 31, 2009 by mmschettler Dr. Sharon Ellis Davis is the co-founder and Senior Pastor of God Can Ministries, United Church of Christ. She serves as the Director of Programs for the Education and Family Life Institute for individuals and families who are impacted by underemployment and unemployment, gang violence, domestic violence, and are living in "at-risk," and underserved communities. She is a powerful example of a victim, turned survivor, thriver and advocate to end domestic and sexual abuse. http://www.godcanministries.org/ JR: Thank you for speaking with me. I know you as a fellow trainer with the Faith Trust Institute, which is dedicated to ending domestic abuse and clergy sexual abuse. What brought you to this work? SED: What brought me to this work of addressing sexual and domestic violence was my experience as a childhood victim of sexual violence/abuse and domestic violence as an adult. As a Christian and Police Officer I expected these two Institutions to support and care for me as well as confront my abuser. However, this did not happen. My work has its roots in assuring that these two important Institutions of trust, honor, and justice making, are equipped and challenged to provide the service, care, support and accountability structures to individuals, families, and communities impacted by sexual and domestic violence. This includes the abuser. JR: As a survivor of and specialist in domestic abuse, what do you see as the main things that victims must do to heal from domestic abuse? SED: Forgive! I believe forgiveness is the first step in healing from domestic abuse. Forgiveness is one thing the survivor can do for his or her self. Forgiveness is not something you do for the abuser. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself. Forgiveness promotes spiritual, mental, and physical wellness and empowers survivors to call people and systems into accountability. Forgiveness is the mechanism needed to "let go" of the need for revenge, unhealthy anger, and the need to remain a "victim". JR: You are a veteran police officer, as well as an ordained minister of 31 years and 22 years respectively. Both institutions exist to protect the vulnerable, yet individuals of both have abused power and abused vulnerable individuals. How do you deal with abuse by officers? SED: Abuse is abuse regardless of what office a person holds. However, when a person has the responsibility to serve and protect and they abuse that office, they should be held accountable by that system. Individuals, families, and communities must demand and expect this type of accountability. JR: What do you think should happen to religious authorities who abuse their power/ roles and sexually abuse others? SED: Religious Institutions must have systems of accountability where pastors and other leaders will be challenged, censored, educated on issues of sexual and professional boundaries, and held to the standards of their profession. There are times when religious authorities should be moved from their positions and not allowed to serve as leaders again. JR: You have established a Domestic Violence ministry, helping individuals learn new skill and promoting healthy family environments. What are some of these skills or benchmarks in healthy families that prevent or address abuse that also apply to churches? SED: The skills and qualities needed for healthy relationships are rooted in mutual respect and accountability grounded in love and respect for people as human beings. Promoting educational opportunities so that people can obtain jobs to maintain families and their dignity. Finally, helping the church to provide quality Bible Classes and opportunities to learn and study scripture in ways that do not condemn or promote patriarchy JR: We once discussed the film, "Doubt." One part of the story dealt with an African American student who was suspected of being abused by a priest. The back story with the mother brings up some complexities regarding the family dynamics. What are some of the complexities regarding African Americans and clergy abuse that you have seen? SED: I did not see the film "Doubt." However, when addressing issues of abuse (sexual and/or domestic violence), this conversation must be in conversation, also, with understanding the impact that slavery, racism, and other oppressions had and continue to have on African American families and communities. JR: One of your favorite scriptures is "They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength." I don't imagine that you are saying to those who work to end all abuse to be passive. What would you say to victims and supporters working to expose clergy and other abuse and hold individuals and institutions accountable for abuse? SED: They that wait on the Lord….is one of my favorite passages because it offers a word of hope and renewal that I would be restored to even better greatness after being torn down, humiliated, and degraded. That happened! The scripture is my testimony that "a change will come." Sometimes we want things to happen right now. I learned that "time" can be my friend also. The word "wait" for me is not a passive word. Waiting requires action and determination. JR: I think you are an extraordinary leader and advocate for victims. I imagine that the toxic aspects of trauma and abuse that you encounter in your advocacy may seem pervasive in your work. How do you take care of yourself? What would you advise of other advocates about self care in their efforts to bring healing and change to clergy abuse? SED: Self-Care is the gasoline that fuels the advocate. Use premium, high grade, gasoline so that your engine will run well. It is impossible to care for others unless you charge to take care of yourself. Any other behavior would be classified, for me, as abuse. I don't intend to abuse myself. I love myself and value my relationship with self and others. My actions will prove that and so will yours. JR: What inspires you or encourages you in your ministry? SED: The Call to Justice and the Call to Love – Both of these challenge and encourage me in ministry. JR: Thank you for your time, example and commitment to promoting healing and ending abuse.
Any original material on these pages is copyright © BishopAccountability.org 2004. Reproduce freely with attribution.