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	The Catholic Church Scandal - One Man's Solution Living water in an empty desert February 18, 2010 http://livingwaterinanemptydesert.blogspot.com/2010/02/catholic-church-scandal-one-mans.html I've thought much about the abuse scandals rocking the Catholic Church and I may finally have a solution. It is Lent: a time for fasting, prayer, and repentance. These three practices, in fact, are my solution. All priests would be required to gather in some very remote place, with little or no amenities. As part of the asceticism here, there would be no bathing, no shaving, and no sweet-smelling colognes. Silken vestments would be confiscated and replaced by robes of ash-stained sackcloth. These robes would be "one-size-fits-all" leaving plenty of room for the occasional cilice. The robes would come in two colors though: "sooty and scratchy" and "even MORE sooty and scratchy." I know, I know, parishes would be left without priests, but that's a temporary hardship to endure that will result in a revitalized Church! Besides, the Catholic Church already has a solution available just in case no priest is available to celebrate mass in the "Communion Service," where consecrated hosts are distributed to the faithful by a deacon, or an extraordinary minister of holy communion. The priests stuck out in the middle of nowhere surely have time to consecrate truckloads of hosts, which can then be shipped by express mail to every parish in the world! This scenario could go on almost indefinitely. The many beautiful vestments collected during this time could be shipped to various countries where women suffer under the heavy hand of violent men, and Islamic fundamentalism. Here the vestments would be distributed to women who individually, or as part of a village collective, would turn those vestments into multi-colored quilts. For their labor, these Muslim women would receive more than generous compensation, thus enabling them to become empowered in a society and culture, that seeks to subjugate them. The quilts could then be sold on eBay. I suggest that all net proceeds from the sale of the quilts be placed into a fund that is used to compensate the victims of clergy abuse. Seeing as how representatives of the victims of the abuse in Ireland have recently asked the Pope for over 1 BILLION DOLLARS in compensation, I don't think the proceeds of the sales will completely offset the compensation, but hey, every little bit counts. At least this fund from quilt sales, may prevent some parishes from closing. When the priest finally return to their parishes, people will be amazed and impressed. The priest will be hardly recognizable in his filthy robe, and scraggly hair and beard. (which by the way, all priests will be required to neglect) I believe that the new look of priest will result in an enormous influx of new vocations! Just think, given the popularity of the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, and the "Harry Potter" franchise, young boys everywhere dream of growing up to be wizards! Here's their chance. If not actually to be a wizard, then at least to look like a Gandalf, or Dumbledore. This is a win-win situation for everyone as far as I can tell. Except maybe for the Muslim man. He will find himself surrounded by newly empowered females. Females who aren't afraid to speak their mind, and who, after all, don't really need a man in their lives, and who therefore are unwilling to put up with his nonsense. And to that man I say, "Welcome to MY world."
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