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	More Priests" Abuse Victims Speak out By Joep Dohmen NRC Handelsblad March 2, 2010 http://www.nrc.nl/international/article2495604.ece/More_priests_abuse_victims_speak_out Over the last few days, 15 men have come forward to share stories of abuse at the hands of Dutch Salesian priests in the 1960s. One of the accused is now one of the most powerful in the order. They were recruited from large catholic families, tempted with visions of an adventurous life as a missionary in Africa. They left their parents’ homes at age 11 or younger, looking to realise their dreams under the guidance of the priests of the Salesian Order of Don Bosco, at the Don Rua boarding school in ’s-Heerenberg. At least 15 saw their dreams shattered within the walls of that boarding school, losing both their youth and their innocence there. Spurred by the first testimonies of possible abuse at the hands of the Salesians in the 1960s and 1970s, reported by NRC Handelsblad and the RNW last Friday, they all shared their stories with NRC in recent days. The boys from back then are now men in their 50s or 60s. One wrote he felt done with the matter already, but that recent events have brought back memories of the past. Another said he was looking for fellow victims, and felt relieved knowing he was not alone in his pain. 'Everything is coming back' “I ruminated over the thing all night,” said former boarding school pupil Rijk Storm (58) of The Hague. “Everything is coming back to me. It confuses me terribly,” As a boy, Storm suffered abuse at the hands of a Salesian in the 1960s. “A priest would grind his body against mine,” he recalled. The director couldn’t keep his hands to himself either, Storm said. “He would console me with his knee in my crotch.” For Storm, the worst part was having no one to turn to with his story. “My confidence in adults was shaken badly,” he said. Storm is now looking to close the book on this chapter of his life once and for good. 15 stories The 15 former pupils’ stories, while all different, share certain similarities. One boy was raped repeatedly over the course of two years by a priest who presented himself as a friend to his family with an interest in their son’s future. Another was forced to help ’his’ priest get off in the dormitory. Another’s abuse was limited to groping and inappropriate touching. Yet another pupil succeeded in fending off all the inappropriate gestures, but saw how other boys fell prey. “As I passed the priest’s room at 11 o’ clock in the evening, I saw how he and a boy were locked in embrace,” he recalled Rijk Storm would lie in his bed at night and hear which boys were returned to the dormitory “weeping heavily and all shaken up”. The men’s detailed statements seem to prove the abuse was not incidental. According to the former pupils, at least ten priests and two novices could not keep their hands to themselves. “I attended the school as a 12-year old in 1969 and 1970,” wrote Adri van Daal (52) from Gemert. “The priest touched me inappropriately and pushed his body up against me. While these words are simple and straightforward, in reality, the matter is of a more complicated nature.” Still a delicate matter Most former pupils feel the same way, even if it all happened 40 years ago. Some of the perpetrators are no longer alive, and those who are are in their 80s now. One of the priests who has been accused of abuse, is one of the three most powerful men of the Salesian order in the Netherlands today. This is the priest who touched Adri van Daal and ground his body against him. The abuse took place in the priest’s office, his bedroom and his car. Van Daal filed a complaint with a special committee within the Catholic church last weekend. Another former pupil, who attended the Don Bosco boarding school for a year, told similar stories of the same priest. He has not filed a complaint with the church, but said the man “approached” him in 1969. He is at a loss what to do now. “I am not sure what I will do, but it sure has put a dent in my faith,” he said. Responding to the allegations, the priest said his accusers descriptions “did not ring a bell”. “Perhaps I took a little too much liberty at times. But it was never as bad as these descriptions,” he said. Another priest, now 88 years old, who left the order at age 50 to get married, was implicated by four former pupils independently as a perpetrator. He is accused of having abused boys from 1963 to 1968. Another former schoolboy, now a businessman from Veghel (54), was forced to pleasure a priest in the school’s dormitory in 1969. “It has always stuck with me, even though, luckily enough, it never caused me any problems. These recent publications have brought everything back however.” Raped for four years Andre Lubbers (58) from Eindhoven levelled the heaviest accusations at the fathers. He said he was raped by one of them repeatedly from 1959 to 1963. “I’ve been in therapy. I’ve spoken to the man years ago,” said Lubbers, who is now a therapist for abuse victims. “I wasn’t looking for money, or an apology, but recognition. I am done with the matter, but many of my fellow victims are not. This is why a national inquiry needs to be conducted into this matter.” Such an inquiry could show the true scale and nature of the abuse. It may also shed some light on the circumstances that allowed for it to happen. Father Wim Flapper, the former leader of the Salesian order in the Netherlands, hosted a meeting for former pupils in 1998. Flapper then discussed the downsides of the convent life. “In the absence of the correcting and enriching presence of girls and women, a one-sided male world and concurrent style of interaction came to be. Perhaps this led some to become clumsy in their contacts with women, or to react negatively to them. A taboo on sexuality was created. People behaved as if it didn’t exist. It was not allowed to because it was seen as sinful,” Flapper then wrote in the school’s alumni magazine. In a phone interview, Flapper (64) elaborated on his written comments, saying his words then did not refer to sexual abuse. “I had received signals from former students regarding the downside of being raised at the school, like the isolation convent life brought with it: the order, the strict discipline. I admitted publicly there were some shortcomings. But I was mostly referring to daily life at the boarding school.” Flapper only heard about the abuse later, from his successor. “He told me people had complained about the Salesians. I am not entirely surprised. If people complain, I am willing to accept something really did happen,” he said.
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