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	Why I Walk across Oregon By Virginia Jones The Garden of Roses: Stories of Abuse and Healing March 10, 2010 http://web.me.com/virginiajones/Compsassionate_Gathering/The_Garden_of_Roses/Entries/2010/3/9_Why_I_Walk_Across_Oregon.html When I started this blog, I said I would tell the story of how I came to Walk Across Oregon. So many things have come up in the meantime, I haven’t gotten around to it. As usual, more things keep coming up. The news is depressing. The Pope’s brother was involved in physical abuse and maybe in the cover-up of abuse of children in a Catholic Choir he directed. Many people write very well about these issues, I will bow to them and not try to copy their words and ideas. I feel the pain and the weight of all this abuse. I have lived through my own abuse. Like Church and society and many survivors, I avoided dealing with it. Some of the abuse came in the form of a rape on a date. I was filled with so much shame and guilt and that I told no one. I still find it hard to talk about what happened the night of the rape as well as what followed. The problem is you can’t really heal without talking about it. I remained largely silent about my past until the priest who baptized me and my children Catholic in 2001, was removed from ministry for sexual abuse of boys in 2002. Like other Catholics, I was in denial. I didn’t want to believe the abuse he perpetrated was as bad as it was or that church leaders I believed in had covered up the abuse. Those same leaders tried to move my parish forward without closure, without answering questions. They brought in a new, dynamic, Mexican born priest who attracted many new, Hispanic parishioners in the place of the whites who had left after the abusive priest was removed. Maybe the new priest was a little too dynamic. He listened to me and believed me when others did not. When I screened the movie on clergy abuse, Hand of God, on September 22, 2007, he attended. I managed to get some press attention for that screening and a Mother of abused children came to the screening too. Her children were not abused by priests. They were abused by someone in the community. They didn’t come to terms with their abuse for many years and when they did, there were no options for justice. The criminal statute of limitations had long expired. The now adult children were still too afraid of their abuser to confront him in court with civil litigation. The Mother called up and visited everyone she could think of to plead for justice for her children, but door after door slammed in her face. When she heard about the screening of Hand of God on the radio, she decided to attend. She wanted to find someone, anyone, who cared about the sexual abuse of children. Our little group galvanized her into action. She began to attend our Compassionate Gatherings and helped us reorient from clergy abuse to all forms of abuse. She also watched a movie about Granny D, the New Hampshire woman who walked across American to raise awareness about money influencing our political elections. Granny D was in her late eighties and early nineties when she undertook her walks. The Mother thought, “I am 64. If she can walk across America, I can walk across Oregon.” She decided to Walk Across Oregon to eliminate the statute of limitations on criminal prosecution of child sex abuse. However, she had a problem. Her children remained so afraid of their abuser they didn’t want her name in the media, so she asked for my help. I also discovered that she was struggling to put an itinerary together. I helped her write an itinerary and press releases and connected her to others interested in walking with her or helping her in some way. Then I had to join her on the Walk because the media doesn’t like referencing an anonymous person. Someone had to look the camera in the face and say their full name and that someone became me. The Walk was a tremendous success. The law the Mother wanted passed, but the Walk was a success in other ways too. Most people embraced us with support. Survivors came forward and shared their stories with us. Supporters praised our efforts. People came when we got media coverage, but they also came when there was no media coverage. One of my favorite days on the Walk was in Independence, Oregon. We had no media coverage. The Mother camped overnight south of Monmouth and walked north, and I drove my school aged children and my friend Mary Lou south from Portland to Monmouth to join her. We met at Burgerville and walked with the Mother past Independence on the back roads to Oregon’s capital, Salem. We paused in the Farmer’s Market in Independence and wandered among the stalls eyeing the mouth watering fruits and vegetables. Our neon yellow t-shirts emblazoned with “Walk Across Oregon” and “Help Stop Child Sex Abuse” gave our purpose away. A woman approached me and confessed that her children had been sexually abused. Another woman approached Mary Lou and confessed something similar to her. Then we continued on the road, passing by a park on the banks of the Willamette River. My daughter spied a playground and that was that. We stopped again just minutes after leaving the Farmer’s Market. My children are my greatest teachers. The best lesson they have taught me is to slow down and play and have fun and wouldn’t you know it, but slowing down and playing and having fun is an excellent way of reaching out to others. Yes, in the park still another survivor approached us and told us her story. When she finished talking, we walked on for some ways before we reached a house with a yard sale. The Mother's husband loves yard sales and when you are married you have to pay attention to each other's wants and needs. So we wandered around the yard sale to keep the husband happy. Maybe husbands can be pretty good teachers too. As it turned out the husband of the family hosting the yard sale was a former policeman who worked on a number of child abuse cases. He was very supportive of our efforts. As we walked on towards Portland we encountered many stories and many people. After the law the Mother wanted passed, she stepped back, but I decided to continue the Walk. I saw how well it worked to help both survivors and supporters come forward. I also had the opportunity to experience how much fun it was. My children loved the Walk and so did my friend Mary Lou. So we all Walked Across Oregon again in 2009. Contact Virginia at compassion500@gmail.com
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