Anticipating the Popes Sexual Abuse Memo to Catholics, Foster Kamer, The Village Voice, March 17, 2010

Anticipating the Pope's Sexual Abuse Memo to Catholics

By Foster Kamer
The Village Voice
March 17, 2010

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/archives/2010/03/anticipating_th.php

In light of the hundreds of new sexual abuse allegations against the Catholic church, Pope Benedict XVI has a really, really good plan: He's going to write a letter. A letter intended to "help 'repentance, healing and renewal.' " He's going to sign it on Friday and send it out "soon afterwards." Soon? Doesn't the Vatican have their own post office? Anyway, we're going to see just how sharp of a wordsmith the Pope really is, when he tries to put basically all of Ireland's Catholics on ice with a letter. One that must be honest. Emotional. Empathetic. And a call to action promising real change. Until then, we can only anticipate what it's going to say. We've come up with the following preemptive rhetorical recreation, in a best-case-scenario letter from the Pope to his constituents.

Children of God,

Here's a commemorative key fob. Now: Put up or shut up. Or get a button fly. Or go watch Sleepers. I'm outta here soon, anyway. Popes: We die.

Sieg Heil, bitches.

J. Ratzinger

Fightin' P.B.'s

#14

[fkamer@villagevoice.com]