BishopAccountability.org
	An Interview with " Abuse Tracker" Editor/ Manager, Kathy Shaw By Jaime Romo Healing and Spirituality May 13, 2010 http://www.jaimeromo.com/blog/ JR: Ever since I have been actively involved with and promoting healing from religious authority sexual abuse, I have been amazed and grateful for your blog. What were you doing before you took up this gi-normous responsibility? KS: I was a reporter for 45 years at the Worcester, Mass., Telegram & Gazette, a regional newspaper in New England, and was religion reporter there for several years. The tracker was founded in 2002 by Poynter Institute to help reporters who were covering the clergy abuse scandal that erupted with the Boston Globe series. I was no stranger to covering clergy sexual abuse since I had done a series of articles in the 1990s. I got involved with the tracker at first to get my own articles posted. In the beginning, I recall there were four of us posting. Bill Mitchell of Poynter showed me how to do the posting. Then everyone seemed to drop away but me. Poynter realized the tracker was reaching an audience far wider than journalists. They didn't want to kill their creation so they arranged for it to be taken over by National Catholic Reporter. The tracker was under auspices of NCR until we became part of BishopAccountability.org. It was a natural fit since the BishopAccountability.org people, Terry McKiernan and Anne Barrett Doyle, were collecting all kinds of documents on the clergy abuse crisis and had become the central clearing house for information. JR: What was it like for you to begin this Blog/ venture? What has it become for you? KS: I realized quite quickly that we were doing a service for a lot of people. The audience included reporters, survivors, interested Catholics, church workers and priests. I also know the tracker was read at the Vatican — by who I don't know — but it circulates all over the world. I suspect bishops have also been readers but they don't identify themselves. The tracker became a great source of information that people use for different reasons. Tracking news stories became part of my morning routine. I get up, get a cup of coffee and settle down at the computer. My dog Pup scurries under the desk to be with me. I found the subject to be absolutely fascinating. It is an awful story, but it held my interest with all its twists and turns. I had known for a while that we had not even begun to scratch the surface of this church scandal and I was curious to see the drama unfold. I likened the story to being like an onion. Slowly, we'd peel it back layer by layer until we got to the core. I still don't believe we've gotten there yet. My prime role with the Tracker is as a communicator. I want people to know what is going on so they can take the information and use it the best way to resolve the crisis. I stay clear of taking sides although I don't think me or anyone else wants to see children and vulnerable adults subjected to abuse. The debate is on how the scandal is going to be resolved and how church leaders will be held to standards of accountability. There are many voices in this debate. I present all points of view. JR: For some, I imagine that reading all these news reports and other commentaries is a validation that they are not alone, albeit in a tragic kind of fellowship. For others, it may be distressing that there is so much to report. What do you hope that people get or might do as a result of reading Abuse Tracker? KS: I present people with information. Before advent of the internet, people knew what was happening in their own communities but it is only recently that people have begun to see the world-wide scope of the problem. Many survivors of abuse thought they were alone and were the only ones who had been abused. It really breaks my heart when people are doubly victimized because a perpetrator priest convinced them they were special and "the only one" and they found out later the priest used this line on many youngsters. I had training as a crisis clinician and counselor, a secondary job I held for 11 years. You cannot help a person if you are in crisis. That training has been valuable in dealing with this terrible subject. It was a learned thing. My first day as an intern, I sat in on a case conference on a boy who had been horribly abused by several key people in his family. I got sick to my stomach. I knew I had to get over this if I was to be of any use. As time went on, it got easier. JR: I consider this blog as both advocacy and educational work. How do you see yourself—as an advocate? As an educator? How have you grown? I see my own role as that of a communicator. I want people to know and to understand what has been going on secretly for centuries in the Catholic Church. I began writing articles about clergy abuse in the 1990s at the time when most of us did not have email and only a few pioneers had internet access. As I struggled along, trying to shed light on what was going on in the Worcester area, I had very little knowledge of how big the problem was and I knew virtually nothing of the history of this church abuse. When the 2002 revelations arose, we had technology on our side. Suddenly, we were able to communicate with each other and we could search the internet for stories on the history of abuse. We were not alone and we were not working solo anymore. How have I grown? I have been able to accept the fact that very evil things happen but I also accept that there are many more good people out there willing to try and do something about it. JR: What responses have given you some clarity about this work and the impact of this Blog? KS: I'm never happier than when I hear from survivors who have found useful knowledge from the blog that will help them along in their healing. I get emails all the time from people seeking more information about specific priests. Some have been abused by this priest while others think they know someone who might have been abused. I am happy when I am able to help reporters, writers and bloggers get information that will help them and move this story forward. Every once in a while I get an email from someone who went to a school where some children were abused. They state these perpetrators did not abuse them and they wonder why. The easiest answer is if they did not fit the "profile" of the kind of child an abuser was looking for. Some wanted blond boys, some wanted dark-haired boys or girls, some liked troubled youth and others went for kids on the honor roll. Some went for kids from troubled homes while other liked kids from the "Beaver Clever" homes. I get emails from people who are just beginning to come to grips with what happened to them. I inquire as to what kind of help they are getting and what kinds of support they have. People generally do not write until they have started therapy and have built supports. I have also noticed that many Catholics who have begun to think about the issue of abuse have also begun to question other issues such as where their money is going and how it is being used. I have gotten a lot of emails from people who fear that their hard-earned money, rather than helping other people, is being used to pay-off and silence survivors. The attitude is 'the abusers and bishops created the problem and honest Catholics should not have to pay for it.' I get an occasional email from someone who thinks I'm anti-Catholic. I am not. They also think I'm bent on destroying the church. I am not. I think the true anti-Catholics are those priests who abuse children and those who covered-up for them. They have done horrible harm to the faith of Catholics everywhere. I am getting emails from Catholics who believe their faith is shattered by the scandal. My answer is that nothing in the Catholic faith calls for abuse of children or adults. Jesus spoke directly to the issue when he talked of what should happen to those who take the innocence of his children. JR: I imagine that working with these reports can beHH emotionally toxic or depressing or difficult on a daily basis. How do you process this or maintain balance while working with this material? KS: I think as human beings we are all survivors of one trauma or another, but I was not sexually abused. That helps because reading these horrendous stories of violation of human beings makes me mad but I am not triggered and I don't get depressed. I always say that when I first found out that children were being abused, I tried to do something about it. I reported on it so more people would know. This may sound strange to survivors who lived through torture and abuse, but you have no idea what happened if you were not among them. The secrecy was that complete. I have fond memories of growing up in my parish with good priests who taught me much. I have other interests far removed from the blog that helps me decompress. I swim at the area Y. I have a reputation in my neighborhood for growing good tomatoes. I value my relationships with the neighbors. Only one neighbor really understands what I do because his mother once worked in the rectory of a known abuser of teen-age boys. He'll pop in once in a while to see "what's up" regarding the crisis. I have friends. I read a lot of books that interest me. I do freelance editing and PR work. I have a riding lawn mower where I can go out and terrorize the neighborhood as I whizz around chopping down everything in my way. JR: Can you talk a little about your spiritual journey, as you have worked with clergy abuse reporting over the years? KS: I grew up in a traditional Catholic family in a New England mill town. I remember the priests as being very good men. I went to a Catholic girls school nearby for a couple of years and have fond memories of the nuns. I graduated from a Catholic college and enjoyed my time there. I choose to be a follower of Jesus Christ. Perhaps it is age, but the Christian faith has become internalized within me. I am secure in my own beliefs but I enjoy interacting with people of other religions. My town is blessed to have a Buddhist nun living and working among us and she is a true source of inspiration in daily living. JR: What has been helpful for you in your recovery and/or journey towards wholeness? KS: I have had my share of trauma in life. I know that what goes down eventually goes up and vice versa. Life is a roller coaster ride. I know enough to "let it ride." JR: Thank you for your commitment to promote healing and end sexual abuse. Is there anything you would like readers to know or do next? KS: Much has been done but much remains to be done in making religious communities safe for children and people. There are a lot of really good people out there who are making a huge difference.
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