Conversation Is Key, Says Church Life Expert

By Michael Davis
The Jconline
May 19, 2012

http://www.jconline.com/article/20120519/NEWS/305190025/Conversation-key-says-church-life-expert?odyssey=mod|newswell|text|FRONTPAGE|p&nclick_check=1

Clergy misconduct expert Diana Garland is dean of the School of Social Work at Baylor University and an expert in congregational life. The Journal & Courier asked her to overlay what she has learned, during 30 years of research, on the challenge facing Sunrise Christian Reformed Church in south Lafayette.

Question: What do you make of voyeurism in a church?

A: We've done the first national study of the prevalence of clergy sexual misconduct. And this is not within the realm of what we typically would call clergy sexual misconduct, which is sexual harassment or a sexual relationship between a religious leader and a congregant. It does fall in the realm of clergy sexual misconduct in that this presumed voyeurism is sexual in nature and is an offense. All clergy sexual misconduct is devastating. It's devastating to those who have been offended, the primary victims and to the whole congregation.

It is clearly abuse of the community's trust. It is not a private matter between a religious leader and one or more victims.

These victims are not alone. They have others with whom they can share their outrage and their sense of violation and shame. And having others to walk through a crisis like this helps to cope.

So I think this congregation has the opportunity to be, if I can use church language, a witness that we need to take seriously, that all of us in power have the power to hurt and do great harm as well as to help. And that we need accountability structures and processes in place that help us take care of one another.

Q: Is there a preferred way to explain this to children?

A: I think the key here is conversation. And, indeed, children have had conversations about their bodies and what's private and when it's OK for other people to look at them or touch them, like the doctor. Children need to hear that this was not appropriate. And that members of the congregation — and leaders in the congregation — are working to make sure this never happens again.

Q: Do congregations rebound from this kind of trauma?

A: They can. The kind (of cases) I've dealt with have been much more when a religious leader has had sexual relationships with one or more members of the congregation, which is devastating. It's equally a breach of trust of the congregation and the power, the abuse of the power that the congregation has given.

I think the key to rebounding is learning from the experience, that we need accountability and structures. We need background checks on leaders. We need to be vigilant, even in what's supposed to be a safe place.

It's important that we learn to watch out for one another and to not assume that because somebody is revered and honored and trusted that they cannot do harm.

People need to be given opportunity to talk about their feelings of shame and anger. It's not just those who were victimized who were angry. I'm sure the men are very angry as well. They are secondary victims in this. And giving people an opportunity to talk about their dismay, their disbelief, their shattered trust, how you can trust a leader again. How much do you trust a leader again? Those kinds of conversations will help a congregation.