A Whole New Twist on Mad Men

National Survivor Advocates Coalition
June 15, 2012

http://nationalsurvivoradvocatescoalition.wordpress.com/editorials/

It’s hard to know whether to laugh or cry at the news out of Atlanta that the Bishops of the United States are going to spend the hard earned money of United States Catholics for an image makeover and an “always available” spokesperson.

We’re not kidding, here are the links:

Reuters – “Bishops Plan PR Campaign to Soften Image” LINK

Los Angeles Times – “Perhaps We Need Help with PR, Say Catholic Bishops in the US,” LINK

Does anything say counter cultural better than having your very own public relations guy or gal?

We imagine the logo behind the Bishops’ eternally on call presence at a podium will be “In PR We Trust” superimposed on a cathedral cupola edged in lace, of course.

“ We need someone who is going to be able to strategize this better for us,” said Bishop William Murphy of the Diocese of Rockville Centre in Long Island, N.Y.

Drum roll, please for the understatement of the decade.

We’d agree that an extreme makeover is needed for men who have a banner out declaring they are the top dog teachers and preachers on morality and spirituality who for decades have deep-sixed documents on child sexual abuse, chose perpetrating priests’ futures over children’s, buck all attempts at legislative advances for the protection of children and justice for survivors and their families, collectively look the other way when a Bishop is charged with non-reporting.

But a perpetual spokesperson with an email blast of talking points isn’t going to get them out of the hole they have dug for themselves.

The Bishops are moving from one cover-up to another.

Thinking the slick glossy glow of Madison Avenue will buff them up is akin to hippopotamuses thinking they can fly if they just pay enough money to the flight instructor.

In the pew Catholics aren’t off the hook here. They need to remember whose paying the bill for this new spitting of spin.

The USCCB isn’t financed by the tooth fairy, or Glenda the Good Witch or the Loch Ness Monster.

The USCCB’s money comes from an assessment, actually a tax on dioceses. Dioceses get their money from assessing, actually taxing, parishes. Parishes get their money from what Catholics put in the collection baskets and the booths at the festival stands or send by direct deposit to the parish’s account.

Our advice: turn off the spigot.