Grace Be with Me: a Survivor's Poem

Garden of Roses: Stories of Abused and Healing
July 8, 2012

http://compassionategathering.blogspot.com/2012/07/grace-be-with-me-survivors-poem.html

I almost revel in my sobs,
Knifelike pain slashing through my heart,
On a sleepless Saturday night
I feel helpless.
Whatever will be, will be.

I went to Mass Sunday morning
And watched the priest with tired eyes
and listened to the priest with tired ears.
Bible readings speak of going through pain and loss, rejection and persecution.
I close my eyes and see Jesus struggling to carry the cross
along the Via Dolorosa,
along the Way of Tears,
The crown of thorns digging into his blood and sweat streaked brow;
His hair snarled and matted with blood;
His body bent from pain and the weight of wooden beams balanced on his back,
Knowing the pain and suffocation of crucifixion is yet to come.

Jesus feels the pain of persecution
I feel,
pain almost too deep to bear.

I ask my angels for help.
You aren't a victim,
they say.
You have the skills, the knowledge.
You can do it.

I argue,
I'd rather not be nailed to this cross.
Please take this cup from me.

You are strong enough, the angels say.

Grace be with you.

Be calm and loving and forgiving amid the storm of harsh words directed at you,
through pain almost too deep to bear,
pain almost too deep to bear.

Sometimes life treats you unjustly, cruelly.
The only way of surviving
is to see life as a spiritual lesson to bring you closer to God,
To do on earth as in heaven.

I ask myself,

Can I survive?

Can I get an A on this lesson?

I know in my heart I have the skills, the knowledge, the determination.

I can get an A.

I pray,

Grace be with me,

Grace be with me.