Adubato: Readers Respond on Cell Phones, Church Scandal
Steve Adubato
There was lots of feedback to my recent column about a texting dad who was not “in the moment” at his 8-year-old son’s baseball game, as well as to an earlier column on the much-publicized leadership failures of the Archdiocese of Newark in the case of the disgraced Rev. Michael Fugee. Here is a sampling: Penny Jones from Morris Plains wrote: “I think your recent column on being present and in the moment should be required reading for everyone who appears to be addicted to some of the modern technology that transports us away from the human beings who are physically close to us. You may want to recommend the following book to your readers: ‘Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each Other’ by Sherry Turkle.” Great suggestion, Penny. I’ve heard about this book. One of the things I really like about this column is having Star-Ledger readers respond with feedback like this, which only furthers the discussion by giving advice to others. Thanks so much. An anonymous reader asked if I “confronted” the gentleman who was on his cell phone throughout his son’s game; “Did you figure out a nice way to communicate to the dad how he was missing his son’s joy? That would be a skilled communication. It would be interesting if he was on the phone with someone who he was forced to talk to and was angry himself that it was taking him away from the game. While rare, sometimes people need to be told a dozen different ways that they need to hang up and be present.” I really like this question, because it raises a range of sensitive communication and interpersonal issues. I did not confront the offending dad because I did not have a close personal relationship with him. If I had, my communication would have been more direct. However, as one of the coaches on the team, I had another communication option that I utilized. After the 8-year-old, named “Bobby,” hit a double in the gap, which his father missed because he was texting, I yelled out: “Great hit, Bobby! Hey, Montclair, let’s hear it for Bobby.” At that moment, Bobby’s dad looked up as the other parents cheered. It was clear that he had missed something and that he was somewhat embarrassed. This less-direct communication approach has the potential to create a degree of peer pressure on such a parent. Finally, Fred Kanter of Mountain Lakes responded to my column on the Newark Archdiocese leadership failure in the case of the Rev. Michael Fugee, who was arrested and arraigned last week. The Rev. Fugee admitted to groping a young boy and was later in the presence of children, despite a signed agreement with prosecutors barring such behavior. Said Kanter: “The business of any religion, according to them, is truth. This latest example is like episode 5,222 of a daytime soap opera, it’s just more of the same. Trust them (the leadership of the church) to do what’s right, and they deny any culpability while silently playing a game of musical chairs with serial pedophiles. So this time a big public display was made of an agreement just for show. Then they just stealthily continued the game and tell us they interpret the agreement differently. I find it morally depraved and disgusting, nothing less.” The last thing the Catholic Church’s brand needed was a devastating hit to its reputation like this. Institutions, organizations and businesses are expected to demonstrate strong leadership and communicate in a clear, concise and credible fashion when a crisis occurs. The Archdiocese in Newark has failed miserably on both counts and to date has done nothing to turn this situation around.
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