I forgive him, says wife of the vicar who cheated ..., by James Tozer, Daily Mail (November 24, 2014)

I forgive him, says wife of the vicar who cheated on her with a churchgoer: Priest sacked after he exchanged hundreds of lurid texts with member of congregation

A married priest has been sacked after he was caught having an affair with a member of his congregation.

The Rev Stephen Vincent, 40, exchanged hundreds of lurid text messages with the woman, who was also married.

He admitted they had sex in an alleyway and on another occasion, after she texted, ‘Come and get me’.

When he called at her house she answered the door wearing only a silk dressing gown and knickers.

But she accused him of rape and he was arrested. When police dropped their inquiry, the woman, known only as X, complained to Church of England authorities.

Mr Vincent was barred from the priesthood and his family face eviction from their home.

Yesterday his wife Erin, with whom he has three young children, said she was standing by him because ‘everyone deserves a second chance’. The couple, who have been together for ten years, said the affair and subsequent investigation had left the family ‘on the brink’.

‘I can see how much he regrets it and I don’t think he needs punishing further,’ Mrs Vincent told the Sunday Telegraph. ‘Steve is an amazing person who has made some silly decisions. We have three gorgeous children who mean the world to us, and we both stay strong for them.’

Cambridge-trained Mr Vincent was appointed curate at St Giles Church in Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffordshire, in 2011 and his family live in a semi-detached house belonging to the church.

In April 2012, a few weeks before he was ordained, he was introduced to X, who said she was interested in joining the clergy. At the suggestion of the vicar, Mr Vincent agreed that she could shadow him.

They they began exchanging texts – which within two days became flirtatious. On April 27, Mr Vincent wrote that she should ‘send the other half to the park with the kids... get yourself a big glass of red, slip into the bath and enjoy yourself’.

On May 25 they met at a local pub and by June 18 the messages – up to 87 a day – had become sexually explicit. After one meeting Mr Vincent said that ‘in different circumstances’ he may have kissed her and she sent him a photograph of herself in her underwear, Lichfield Diocese’s disciplinary panel said in the published report of its findings.

Further text messages discussed her preference for wearing stockings and suspenders rather than tights.

In June, three days after his ordination, they met at a bar and afterwards had sex against a wall in an alleyway.

The following month they met again at a pub where, the panel said, X ‘made it clear she wanted sex’, afterwards texting: ‘I’m home now come and get me.’

Mr Vincent replied by asking for her address, adding: ‘I’ll only be able to f*** and go’.

But after they stopped exchanging texts in the early August, X alleged that the second of their two sexual encounters had been rape.

When interviewed by police, Mr Vincent insisted that what happened had been ‘roughish’ but he would describe it ‘more as passionate’. He strongly denied it had been anything other than consensual, which the disciplinary panel accepted.

Mr Vincent told members he felt ‘deeply sorry’ for hurting and betraying his wife and the Church.

The panel, chaired by Geoffrey Tattersall, a QC and lay canon at Manchester Cathedral, said his behaviour was ‘incompatible with his continued ministry in the Church’ and barred him from acting as a priest for eight years.

Mr and Mrs Vincent, originally from Northern Ireland, have been given until the end of the year to leave their home and he is claiming unemployment benefit.

Mr Vincent described the affair as a ‘huge, stupid mistake’, telling the Sunday Telegraph: ‘It has been devastating. In one day I lost my home, my job, and in some ways I nearly lost my family as well.

It has been devastating. In one day I lost my home, my job, and in some ways I nearly lost my family as well.‘We have been on the brink of breaking up and it is the thing I regret most in my life.

Stephen Vincent

‘We have been on the brink of breaking up and it is the thing I regret most in my life.’

Of his wife, he said: ‘She is incredibly strong and has been remarkably gracious. I owe her everything.’

Mrs Vincent told the paper she was standing by him because she had been ‘taught to forgive’, adding: ‘We are beginning to see some light now.’

Yesterday Mrs Vincent would say only: ‘This has been a terrible time. I just want to put it behind me and move on with our lives.’

Parishioners were shocked by Mr Vincent’s behaviour and said yesterday that his mistress’s marriage had broken up. Grandmother Paula Dawson, 77, said: ‘He seems a real Jekyll and Hyde character.’

Another said: ‘He has behaved terribly and preyed on this woman.’

In a statement, the diocese said Mr Vincent’s behaviour had been ‘unbecoming of his calling as a priest in Church of England’. It added: ‘As Mr Vincent said himself, he has betrayed his wife, his family and his church.

‘We continue to offer every support to the Vincent family... and hold them all in our prayers.’