Column: ‘Spotlight’ moving as it takes on important social issue

By Dennis Mccarty
Republic
December 29, 2015

http://www.therepublic.com/view/local_story/Column-_1451437053

A few Fridays ago, my better half, Kate, and I decided to take in a movie. Our choice was “Spotlight,” the docudrama about newspaper coverage of the Boston Archdiocese sex abuse scandal.

This topic hits close to home with me. I’ve been on the receiving end. It’s not something I talk about a lot, but from about ages 8 to 11 I was a sexually abused child. More than 50 years have passed, but it still bites me from time to time.

I’m a movie buff, though. “Spotlight” got phenomenal reviews, and everyone said the abuse part was tastefully and delicately handled. So off we went, figuring everything would be just fine.

Which it was, mostly. I’m definitely glad I saw the movie. But about halfway through, I started to tear up. Then the part that really got to me was when

the reporters began to realize just how many Boston children had been sexually abused: hundreds.

That’s when I burst out crying.

Yep. Crying.

You see, my family never talked about sex when I was a kid. When I was being sexually abused, I had no tools to tell about it. I didn’t like it, but it seemed as though that was just the way life was. No sense telling about it, I figured. Nobody’s going to do anything about it, anyway.

That’s exactly what abusers are experts at making kids think.

I can tell you, it’s the strangest, mind-warp kind of experience. Your body’s not your own. But the abuser makes sure your mind’s not your own, either.

That’s how abusers in the Boston Archdiocese worked, too. A whole power structure pretended it wasn’t real — because it was hard to talk about.

Then the reporters discovered it was real. What all those children went through was real. And awful. That’s when, for me, the tears came.

You know what? I’m not sure it was just from hurt or bad memories. They might have been tears of gratitude. This needs to be talked about.

This is one big reason I’m all for age-appropriate sexuality education in school — and church. Sexual predators hide in the silence. Unless your kid can talk about sexuality as confidently as talking about Colts football — I’m serious — it leaves shadows for a predator to hide in.

My one big gripe about “Spotlight” is that it lets us off too easy. We can walk out of the theater saying, “Well, that’s big cities for you.” Or, “That’s the Catholic Church for you.”

If you think sexual abuse is only about big cities or only about the Catholic Church, I have a bridge to sell you.

It’s all over. It hides in the shadows. You can bet it’s hiding right here in Columbus.

I will bet you the price of a steak dinner for your whole family that you already know someone who has been sexually abused.

They probably don’t talk about it. How could they? Our society is so weird about sex that people would look at them as though they were space creatures if they told. Or just not believe them. Shame and disbelief are a predator’s handiest tools.

Go see “Spotlight.” Or rent the DVD when it comes out. Pay attention to the movie’s characters who were abused as children.

Their pain and tears? That’s the way it really feels.

This is something we need to pay attention to. We need to educate our children — and ourselves. We can’t just pretend it’s not happening or that it will go away without us facing the discomfort of dealing with it.