Learn Signs of Child Sex Abuse

By Jess Kaehny
Reedsburgh Times-Press
January 8, 2016

http://www.wiscnews.com/reedsburgtimespress/opinion/column/article_66c29f27-c353-5d45-b005-c1639790205f.html


After being charged with multiple sexual assaults of a teen girl, David Knoble, 48, a church music director in Reedsburg, shot himself Dec. 30. Partly due to the public nature of the case and his suicide, it will continue to affect the family and church members involved as well as the community for some time to come.

Unfortunately, child sexual abuse in our country and our community is all too common, despite often being hidden and unknown. According to Darkness to Light (www.d2l.org), a national organization working to end child sexual abuse, about 1 in 10 girls and boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday, and more than 90 percent are abused by someone they know.

Perpetrators often groom their victims and the victims’ families into believing they are someone they can trust. According to court documents in the case, the teen girl believed she was his girlfriend and he manipulated her into keeping his behavior secret.

The Reedsburg Times-Press reported they had a “sexual relationship,” but a 16- or 17-year-old girl cannot give consent. Sexual intercourse, even sexual contact, without consent isn’t sex or a “sexual relationship” – it’s sexual assault. According to the charges in the case, he took advantage of her just like he did the 13-year-old girl back in 2004, a crime for which he only needed to pay a $335 fine. These are the two girls we are aware of, but did he sexually abuse more teens?

As adults, it’s up to us to pay attention. It’s our responsibility to stop and prevent child sexual abuse. Just like the teen’s mom who followed up on a gut instinct that something was wrong from a text message, we need to ask questions and follow up when people cross boundaries with children.

Most child sexual assaults happen when a child is alone with an adult, frequently at a residence, so when we know our child will be in that type of situation, we have to be extra vigilant. Dropping by unexpectedly and talking to the child about what happened are good places to start.

Institutions need to do background checks, professional references and interviews. Policies need to be in place, and staff needs to be trained on them. Parents and those who work with children need to be trained on child sexual abuse and warning signs. We need to talk to children about what sexual abuse is and what to do if someone is crossing their boundaries.

It is never a child’s fault for being sexually abused, and it’s extremely rare for a child to lie about sexual abuse. Let’s start by believing, providing support and connecting child victims and their families to people that can help.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and would like free help or if you would like a child sexual abuse prevention training for your school, church, civic club, or workplace, call Hope House at 608-356-9123 or visit www.HopeHouseSCW.org.