Abuse by a Clergyman Was My Own Personal 9/11
By Susan Blum
The recent cover story on child sex abuse and the statute of limitations struck a raw nerve. Obviously, Gerald Grimaud must never have been a victim himself if he can state that "testimony becomes less trustworthy over time." I wonder if he remembers where he was and what he was doing when he heard the towers in New York went down? Don’t you? If older, don’t you remember what you were doing when you heard Kennedy was assassinated? My violation was my own personal 9/11! I remember the smallest details, the smell of cigarettes on his clothes, the unique clerical collar and receding hairline, how he stood first to my left, the pressure of the wall against my back as he leaned on me and fondled me during the first attack. The details of the other incidents play like videotape of a horrible accident. The tapes have played in my head for 48 years and have fed my nightmares. I only wish I could get them to stop! Why did I wait to speak up, knowing for 45 years I had been abused? Because of embarrassment (a child thinks it must be their fault). Because I thought I was the only one. Because I didn’t equate heavy fondling with molestation. (I thought you had to be raped to be violated and only told several people that “once someone tried to attack me.”) It was only when I recently found out that there was another girl after me that I decided someone MUST be told and those that protected him held accountable. That was when I was able to connect the dots to understand the impact of the PTSD triggers that plagued me for all these years and start my recovery at Turning Point Counseling Center. Susan Blum lives in New Freedom.
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