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Kinah for Tisha b'Av, from a survivor of child sexual abuse
anny Waks
August 14, 2016
http://www.mannywaks.com/blog/kinah-for-tisha-bav-from-a-survivor-of-child-sexual-abuse
Today is Tisha b'Av, the ninth day of the Jewish month of Av, when we commemorate the destruction of the Jewish temples. Traditionally we read from Eicha, the Book of Lamentations.
A courageous victim/survivor of child sexual abuse has written their own powerful version, which I'm sharing below with their permission:
Kinah, from a survivor of child sexual abuse.
אֵיכָה
How
How did you let this happen to her?
בָּכוֹ תִבְכֶּה בַּלַּיְלָה וְדִמְעָתָהּ עַל לֶחֱיָהּ אֵין לָהּ מְנַחֵם מִכָּל אֹהֲבֶיהָ כָּל רֵעֶיהָ בָּגְדוּ בָהּ הָיוּ לָהּ לְאֹיְבִים:
She weeps, yea, she weeps in the night, and her tears are on her cheek; she has no comforter among all her lovers; all her friends have betrayed her; they have become her enemies.
How do you, a rav, an askan, a dayan, a teacher, see the pain of an adult still hurt from the pain inflicted upon them as a child, and turn the other check ‘because it happened ten years ago’?
How do you, a rav, an askan, a dayan, a teacher, see the pain of a parent begging on behalf of their betrayed child, and say, well, we can’t believe the testimony of a child, and there is no one else who witnessed the act?
אֵיכָה?
How?
How do you teach that we must protect children from smartphones, from footballs, from family swimming, from open toed sandals, yet you can’t protect from abuse, from rape, from shame, from PTSD?
How do you pray for the third temple, when you cannot acknowledge the evil you perpetuate?
How do you wrap yourself in a tallis, bind your tephilin, fooling yourself that your outward show of piety is worth anything, when survivors cannot bear the pain anymore and are killing themselves in unprecedented numbers?
How do you condemn the few in our community who give their own blood and sweat to care for and feed survivors, by believing them, by supporting them, when all you can do is open a hotline to listen? To listen but to take no action? You are a wolf in a sheep’s clothing. You need to show local authorities, the media, and critics that you care, so you staff a hotline and expect us to bare ourselves before you. But those charities actually offering therapy, support groups and ISVA facilities, you ban as treif.
How do you rob your own communities of opportunities to be educated, by threatening panel members and speakers, sometimes only an hour before a scheduled event?
Like the Sicarii who wanted to maintain absolute control over ancient Jerusalem, you stab and starve your own people of education, help, and justice.
בַּת־בָּבֶ֗ל הַשְּׁד֫וּדָ֥ה אַשְׁרֵ֥י שֶׁיְשַׁלֶּם־לָ֑ךְ אֶת־גְּ֝מוּלֵ֗ךְ שֶׁגָּמַ֥לְתְּ לָֽנוּ׃
Fair Babylon, you predator, a blessing on him who repays you in kind what you have inflicted on us;
Our community prides itself in being better than others, in being a beacon of family purity and wholesomeness, look at what you have done to us survivors.
אַשְׁרֵ֤י ׀ שֶׁיֹּאחֵ֓ז וְנִפֵּ֬ץ אֶֽת־עֹ֝לָלַ֗יִךְ אֶל־הַסָּֽלַע׃
A blessing on him who seizes your babies and dashes them against the rocks!
Every edict that is released about the kashrus of strawberries, when your own kashrus is riddled with child abuse and supporters of abusers, every time you allow a rapist to lead tefilos in your shul, you dash us against the rocks.
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