Victim Says Child Abuse a Life Sentence

By Megan Neil
news.com.au
March 30, 2017

http://www.news.com.au/national/breaking-news/child-abuse-a-life-sentence-victim-says/news-story/93444fe67894ab35dbc4afbef1db876b

If the scars of child sexual abuse were visible, Shelly Braieoux believes she would be in a wheelchair with missing limbs and horribly deformed with burns and scars.

Instead, Ms Braieoux and other child abuse survivors carry scars that cannot be seen and fight "a lifelong invisible war".

The damage is catastrophic, Ms Braieoux told the child abuse royal commission via telephone from her Queensland home after ex-tropical cyclone Debbie prevented her being in Sydney for Thursday's hearing.

"Even though we may have physically survived, we have been sentenced to a torturous life sentence full of unnumbered battles."

Ms Braieoux was ostracised and silenced from speaking about the abuse to anyone, receiving no support from the unnamed religion, her family or friends.

"It was a very callous way to be treated and in my opinion, it has been far worse and caused more damage to me than the abuse itself."

Ms Braieoux said the snowball effects of the abuse and her subsequent treatment by the religion have permeated her life like a cancer.

The 45-year-old has struggled with depression, panic attacks, anxiety and overwhelming feelings of anger, worthlessness and betrayal.

For years after the abuse the emotional pain manifested as physical pain, like "being hit by a truck".

"I was robbed of my innocence, my childhood, my adolescence, young adulthood and the years since."

Ms Braieoux is determined not to let the abuse control and define her but has been unable to erase the harm it caused.

"I haven't been able to stop the snowball effects, stop the triggers or reverse the damage.

"I cannot make what happened to me disappear."

Survivor AOA still suffers a range of health impacts, both physical and mental, 54 years after being groomed and abused for a year by a headmaster at Hobart's The Hutchins School.

On the outside, the 67-year-old can appear normal, happy and relaxed.

But on the inside he feels detached, isolated and depressed.

He recently marched himself back into therapy after realising he was in deep trouble.

"I believed I was a failure because I hadn't sorted myself out after all these years, after hundreds of hours of the most effective therapies for complex trauma. I believed myself to be damaged and beyond repair."

AOA knows he needs ongoing therapy.

"I am broken," he said, crying.

"I am alive."

Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467.

MensLine Australia 1300 78 99 78.

Multicultural Mental Health Australia www.mmha.org.au.

Local Aboriginal Medical Service available from www.vibe.com.au.