Recent practices lead to disenchantment with Catholic Church

By Peter Donohue
St. Cloud Times
January 14, 2019

https://bit.ly/2AOkpkP

I have been a very strong Catholic, active in the parishes I belonged to — two parishes for a total of 70 years.

Not too long after Vatican II, I had what I thought was a crisis of faith and faltered in active participation. I remained infrequent in participation for several years, but slowly found my way back with the help of an associate priest at St. Mary’s Cathedral. 

I became an integral part of my parish and a strong advocate of Catholic education because of the incredible experience my children had primarily at Cathedral High School. I will remain forever grateful for my education and that of my children.

Several months ago, my active participation in the church came to a sudden end. 

At first, I thought I was experiencing another crisis of faith. As time passed and as I struggled with the void created by the end of active participation, I sorted through this latest estrangement and began to recognize that it was not a crisis of faith. I also began to appreciate that years ago it was not a crisis of faith. My faith remains strong, vibrant and an essential part of my being. 

As I work through my latest self-imposed separation from the church, I recognize it has nothing to do with the faith, the system of beliefs, the church community at large or the teaching of the church. 

It has to do with respect, honesty, transparency, accountability, ownership and what I feel is a desperate need to change.

In large part, I take grave issue with the willingness of many leaders in the church to hide criminal sexual conduct and the subsequent protection of the perpetrators. I also have serious trouble with failing to adequately address the victims of abuse. Throwing money at the victims is not ministering to them, and I suspect does little to help them heal. 

It’s easy to throw this issue up as the source of my problems with the church. In reality, it is how the issue has been handled that is the true source of my alienation. Our church has been managed often in a cloak of secrecy and with restricted input. For centuries, those ordained have held control. As the abuse scandal has unfolded it is apparent that there was an absence of accountability if not a full-fledged cover up.

I do not lay blame solely on the ordained who have held power and abused it. We have participated by placing them on pedestals, expecting them to be better than we are; holding them to a higher standard. When they fail, some of us fall into despair that we used to justify departure from the church community; falling away. 

As I have sorted through this confusion, I now recognize that I was driven away by the inability to effect change; by my powerlessness. I am now searching for a new community with which to worship and once more become active. One where I can respect all members of the community.

An advent homily given at one of the parishes I have considered pointed out that Jesus, our Messiah, came to us as an infant because who could be frightened by a baby. Makes perfect sense, but it had never occurred to me. During a post-Christmas homily at another Catholic community, they likened the plight of totally innocent children separated from their parents at the Mexican border to the innocents that fell victim to King Herod.

At a third parish that I checked out the priest was boiling mad at Sens. Kamala Harris and Mazie Hirono because they dared to question a judicial appointee about his membership in the Knights of Columbus. The senators had registered concern over extreme positions the Knights had taken. 

Three very different Catholic communities – very different. There is diversity and freedom of speech in this church. 

I then thought about the senators and started to recognize that if you’re not Catholic and you don’t know about the Knights and you look at the Knights as two non-Catholic women might, they are on opposite sides of the abortion issue. The Knights are an all-male organization and they cling to the name of a man whose reputation has been soiled.

 It might just give one pause.

There is a certain beauty in being just an observer. Perhaps I can wait to become an active participant until the church becomes more inclusive, more accountable and more transparent.