BishopAccountability.org

A call about a secret pain

By Raymond Daye
Avoyelles Today
February 24, 2019

https://bit.ly/2EuV81y


There are calls you wish you had not received because of the emotional toll it takes on you, but yet are glad you had the conversation because some good may come from it.

One such call came to my desk a few days after the article on priests the Diocese believes were most likely guilty of sexual abuse, molestation or impropriety with juveniles over the past several decades.

This caller is now over 70, but his story of a near tragedy occurred when he was 13.

The priest was serving in Bunkie. He was friendly and often asked the caller and his friends to help him around the church. He would give them gifts to show his appreciation for their help.

One day, he and the priest were alone.

“He gave me something to drink,” he recalled, noting that he may have had more than one.

“I know now it was a martini, with olives in it. It was very strong and made me dizzy,” he said.

The priest drove him to the Cow Palace in Marksville -- which has since been torn down to make way for the Paragon Casino.

“He tried to take my pants off in the car,” he said. “I fought back, even though I was woozy from the martini.”

The priest decided to back away rather than escalate the physical assault and drove his would-be victim back to the boy’s home.

“I have mostly kept that hidden inside me,” he said. “I have told my wife about it, but that’s all.”

His mind has flashed back to that day numerous times over the decades that have passed. He cannot forget, no matter how much he would like to.

“I remember that car,” he said. “A Fairlane 500, olive color.”

Olive -- like those in the martinis he drank that he thought were soft drinks.

Then, out of some deep recess in his soul, came this accusation.

“He tried to get me drunk and rape me.”

The man seemed calmer, less evasive after that outburst, like a heavy burden was hurled away just by saying aloud what he has kept unsaid for a lifetime.

It is my hope and prayer that his burden is gone for good.

There is no way anyone can say this man was “lucky” in his encounter with a sexual predator in clerical clothing. It was fortunate he was spared the emotional and physical pain of rape -- but what he experienced was still an emotionally scarring incident.

He does not know if any of his friends were not as “lucky” as he was.

None of them ever told him they had an encounter with the predator priest. Then again, he noted, he never told them about his near-rape in the olive green Fairlane.

“I am sure there are a lot of boys like me who have not come forward about incidents with other priests,” the caller said.

“Maybe it will be like those women in Hollywood who have come forward about what happened to them,” he added, referring to the Harvey Weinstein sex scandal and the “Me Too” movement.
“Maybe more will come forward and talk about what happened to them and stop keeping it penned up inside .

The Diocese concedes its list of 27 clergy with “credible allegations” of sexual abuse is probably incomplete.

Feelings of shame and misplaced guilt often keep victims of sexual crimes silent and living in emotional distress.

Keeping such incidents secret is like leaving a hot coal sitting on your chest. The longer it sits the deeper it burns and the longer it takes the wound to heal.

Knock that coal off as quickly as possible and as far away from you as possible. Once batted away, never pick it up again.

If it has been 60 years since a painful event occurred, maybe you can get some relief by talking to a sympathetic friend, pastor or even a complete stranger.

If it occurred recently, one of the first people you need to talk to is a law enforcement officer.

Predators must be stopped. It is better for everyone -- victim, predator and righteously enraged civilian -- if we let the judicial system do the stopping.

If the predator is a “run-of-the-mill” criminal, call the sheriff’s office and speak with a detective.

If the predator is or was affiliated with the Diocese of Alexandria, call the authorities AND the Diocese’s Victims Assis-tance office at 318-542-9805 and talk to Dr. Lee Knapp.

I would like to believe not a single call needs to be made concerning past events or future occurrences, but I know that is not the case.

Just because that’s the world we live in doesn’t mean we have to give in.

 




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