Editorial | Shining a light on the Neverland of child sex abuse

Santa Cruz Sentinel
March 09, 2019

https://bit.ly/2UvDWhF

It is both harrowing and infinitely sad to see “Leaving Neverland” and “Surviving R. Kelly,”  two cable television documentaries about the crime of child sexual abuse, its perpetrators and victims.

R. Kelly currently sits in a Chicago jail cell for failure to pay child support, while at the same time, years of allegations about his sexual abuse of underage girls, have finally caught up with him. The R&B star says he is unfairly accused and that his career has been ruined by the allegations.

“Leaving Neverland” aired last week, profiling two men who say Michael Jackson sexually abused them when they were children.

Jackson died in 2009 and his family has filed a lawsuit against HBO which aired the documentary.

That Kelly and Jackson face these accusations is hardly shocking, considering previous allegations both have faced, but the depravity of the alleged acts described by the victims  — who come off eminently believable — is shattering. Much of the same debate has also been heard during the Roman Catholic Church’s repeated scandals of child sex abuse and in the #MeToo movement.

One of the questions asked of the two latest Jackson accusers is why they took so long to come forward and why they first denied they had been repeatedly molested by the pop star.

Both Wade Robson, who testified for Jackson in the singer’s court trial, and James Safechuck still suffer guilt and shame over what happened. Both men say they will spend the rest of their lives trying to come to terms with what happened, and about the feelings they still harbor.

They were groomed — or manipulated — by Jackson when they were little boys and considered him, in their words, like a “god” who turned them against anyone who might want to intrude into their twisted world. Both said they didn’t consider it “abuse” until relatively recently.

Safechuck, in particular, seems to remain traumatized at age 40, three decades after he met Jackson during the filming of a soda commercial. Jackson, in addition to allegedly repeatedly assaulting the child, also bought him a “wedding ring” that Safechuck still possesses.

Predators often work to ingratiate themselves with children, first casting themselves as special adult “friends” or protectors and making themselves irreplaceable in the child’s life. Once they have achieved this bond, then they begin to introduce sexual contact.

Abusers often create a sense of shared responsibility with their victims for what has taken place and warn them of the importance of secrecy. The fact that they do not abuse all children they come in contact with — apparently true in Jackson’s case — just serves to give them more cover. Jackson also touted his work in charitable endeavors aimed at deprived or ill children.

Research has shown that many victims of pedophilia don’t begin to come to terms with it until they reach middle age, or even later. Most U.S. states that have limited the years in which victims of child abuse can seek criminal action against perpetrators are today considering extensions.

What about parents? Shouldn’t they answer for the abuse? “Leaving Neverland” is all too revealing. Robson’s mother took her then 7-year-old son and his sister from Australia to Los Angeles to follow Jackson’s invitation, leaving another son and her husband behind.

Safechuck’s mother considered Jackson as a surrogate son, falling for his tales of having being deprived of a childhood himself. Incredibly, the mega star would regularly come to their suburban home for sleepovers.

The mothers were often nearby during the abuse; in Robson’s case, the child and Jackson would occupy a bedroom at the pop star’s Neverland retreat above Santa Barbara, while the mother was staying in another part of the mansion.

This is a familiar pattern, say experts, as abusers often start by manipulating parents into trusting them and giving them access to a child.

Abusers usually aren’t strangers. More than 90 percent of child sex abuse victims are assaulted by someone they know —  familiarity provides access to children. In about a third of such cases, the perpetrator was a family member.

There are no pat answers to unmasking human depravity or providing failsafe protection for children. But, make no mistake, the veil of secrecy and denial around the crime of child sexual abuse finally is being lifted.