Ceremony, panel discussion aims to address child sex abuse

By Breanna Francis
Journal
April 19, 2019

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While some conversations are uncomfortable, many find that discussing sexual abuse, especially of a child, is among the hardest topics to handle.

But for Tom Stollings, one of the father’s involved in a sexual abuse lawsuit against a local Mormon church, bringing this commonly regarded “dark” topic into the light has become his life’s passion.

“It’s a very touchy subject — child sex abuse — especially in a place that you thought you could really trust the people. It’s dark, and it’s hurtful for anyone to have to deal with or hear,” Stollings said. “We’re human and this tears at everyone’s guts but its one of those things that needs to be talked about because that’s the only way we are ever going to put a stop to it.”

Stollings, as well as five other families in Martinsburg, were a part of a sexual abuse lawsuit against a Mormon Church in the area in which Stollings said several local children were abused by a member of the church.

The case, which began in 2012 and ended in August of 2018, after rotating between three judges and two trips to the West Virginia Supreme Court, began with 19 kids but ended with only nine after what Stollings said was stress, pressure and controversy placed on the families by the church and the coverage of the long, drawn out case.

Following a nearly six year case, Stollings said his goal is to bring healing to his own children and other families who may be suffering the same trauma, as well as educate the community and world about the importance of empowering children to speak up and out.

“I know that while raising my children I’ve always made the mistake of telling them that if someone ever hurts them, I’ll kill that person,” Stollings said. “Now I realize that it’s a wrong stance and I wish I wouldn’t have done that because their abuser used that fear that I put on my own children’s head to his advantage and he told my kids, ‘You know that your dad will kill me if you tell on me and then he will go to jail and you’ll never see him again.’ That still tears my gut up to this day. When I heard that come from my own child’s mouth, it crushed me. I thought I was doing the right thing but I ended up hurting them. So I want to empower our children and teach them that you need to tell someone no matter what.”

In an effort to spread the word and honor children who have suffered abuse, Stollings, alongside the other families involved in the lawsuit and Protect Every Child founder and former Mormon Church bishop Sam Young, will be hosting a hike and honorary flag planting ceremony May 5 in Harpers Ferry.

The hike will be followed by a panel discussion later in the evening in the ballroom of the Clarion Inn in Harpers Ferry that will consist of survivors, experts and families to discuss childhood sex abuse and the steps the world needs to take to combat it.

“We want children to be protected and parents to be more involved with their children,” Stollings said. “Another woman will talk about her abuse story and the shame and blame she received. Really, the main thing is we just want to protect every child in church and school and share those stories with the community.”

The two hikes, a 3.9-mile or half-mile hike, will culminate in speeches from Stollings and Young about the importance of raising awareness and the presentation and planting of the Protect Every Child flag.

Following the hike, Stollings said that the event will move to the ballroom of the Clarion Inn in Harpers Ferry for a panel discussion that will consist of childhood abuse survivors, other parents that were involved in the Martinsburg case, and medical experts who have helped care for children who have suffered this abuse.

“We’re just a group of survivors getting together — every one of our stories is different. We all have the same common goal. We want to protect every child,” Stollings said. “When I was a child, a newspaper could write something and someone a state over wouldn’t hear about it for years. But now we have all of these outlets where people are able to speak; it’s not an isolated thing and people from all over can see that they aren’t alone because you feel alone dealing with this sort of abuse or going up against big organizations. It’s hard and intimidating but with media we are able to spread the word and, if we all come together around the world, it will help prevent more children from being hurt. Their childhoods have been taken from them and we are just trying to rebuild their lives.”

Stollings said that the panel will be discussing the Martinsburg court case, the struggle each of the families endured, further evidence that Stollings said he and others felt was important to share with the community, and the ways the community can help children overcome this pain.

The hike is expected to start at 11:30 a.m. from the John Brown Museum in downtown Harpers Ferry.

The panel will begin at 4 p.m. in the ballroom of the Clarion Inn in Harpers Ferry.