#MeTooBerks founder offers range of ways to cope with sexual abuse

By Karen L. Chandler
Reading Eagle
May 03, 2019

https://www.readingeagle.com/home-and-real-estate/article/metooberks-founder-offers-range-of-ways-to-cope-with-sexual-abuse

Caroline Culverhouse spoke about her own trauma and healing at a speaking event at the Reading Area Community College Miller Center for the Arts in late March, one of a series of free workshops.

Caroline Culverhouse may be in the business of healing, but her life's journey created a need to seek healing for both herself and others.

Co-founder of the #MetooBerks Movement, Culverhouse, Alsace Township, is a psychotherapist, yoga and meditation instructor, transformational group process facilitator and Health & Wellness columnist.

She spoke about her own trauma and healing at a speaking event at the Reading Area Community College Miller Center for the Arts in late March, one of a series of free workshops.

The #MetooBerks Movement was founded to provide Berks County community members who identify as sexually transgressed, objectified or abused with a free opportunity for healing, awareness and empowerment.

Telling the story of sexual assault inflicted on her by a massage therapist during a recent trip to New York with her husband is visibly difficult for Culverhouse.

“I did not and could not say no,” she said. “I felt violated and ashamed. How could someone who helps others deal with trauma let this happen to me?”

Culverhouse explains that after the incident she immediately began to practice trauma-releasing exercises that she designed herself and reported the assault to the authorities before moving into deep meditation to gain understanding of what occurred.

She believes her meditation called her to action to go home to Berks County and start #MetooBerks.

“For me, #Metoo does not begin and end in New York City,” Culverhouse said.

Culverhouse provides more background to the traumatic event in her column on Page 4 this issue.

With the support of Tara Elliot, a psychotherapist and certified yoga teacher as co-founder, #MetooBerks was formed as a continuation of the 2006 campaign started by activist Tarana Burke to help survivors of sexual violence, in particular young women of color in poverty-stricken communities.

The #Metoo message in 2006 was simply that survivors are not alone, according to Counseling Today. The goal was to build a community of survivors from all walks of life.

According to Culverhouse, many boys are socialized away from crying and overly sharing emotions. Girls, she said, are taught not to show anger or their true feelings, leading to unhealthy, unequal and potential aggressive relationships, and, as a result, a proclivity in survivors toward anorexia, bulimia, depression, anxiety and substance abuse.

“Most people are socialized away from saying 'no,' as if it will hurt others,” she said. “It's synonymous with social exile.”

Yoga and meditation have helped Culverhouse release trauma from not only her recent sexual assault, but from decades of being objectified as an attractive blonde female.

“My real work lies in helping humans remember who they truly are and regain their permission to say 'no,'” she said. “I feel centered, grounded, strong, and alive. 'Yes, yes, yes' is the glorification and triumph of finding our own 'no.'”

Counseling Today confirms the #Metoo movement has caused many women such as Culverhouse to reconsider events they experienced in their pasts and seek help, not only for actual sexual assaults but also for treatment that crossed the line into sexual harassment.

“The healing journey doesn't seem to end,” said Elliot, who specializes in helping people heal from trauma and find their authentic selves. “It's time to speak up, and it's time to say we have to do something about this.”

Elliot's journey began with ongoing childhood nightmares of a dark room, with a rectangle of light appearing as she stood on a ledge while invisible forces were trying to shove her onto the bottomless floor.

“I always fell,” she said. “That light represented my freedom, but I could never reach it. This dream represented my life. I have been falling for 30 years.”

Being bullied as a new student and for her Asian heritage after a move to a Catholic elementary school was only the start of Elliot's #Metoo journey.

Recounting for the first time publicly to the audience at the Miller Center that she was sexually abused by a priest at the same school was a statement by Elliot of owning her own story, she said.

With both teen years and adulthood bringing on more bullying and abuse, Elliot was forced to turn toward what was then the Berks Women in Crisis, now Safe Berks, for help.

“I recognized my own value, my own worth,” she said. “That voice inside me said: 'finally.' I really dug in. The healing went differently. This is the type of work I do with people today.”

Counseling Today confirms that while many people who live through trauma such as Culverhouse and Elliot may turn to substance abuse and emotional eating to try to heal their pain, positive skills can be employed, such as meditation, interacting with friends, listening to uplifting music or journaling.

A list of coping skills stored on a cell phone creates an easily accessible resource for healing, along with the important self-care of adequate sleep, proper nutrition and regular exercise.

Clients can also be encouraged to consider themselves as survivors instead of victims, according to Counseling Today, as well as to turn shameful feelings about themselves into positive, self-affirming messages.

“The light was inside of me all the time,” Elliot said. “I can be that beacon for people. If they can't find their own light, they can follow mine.”