UNITED STATES
Minnesota SNAP
[note: This is satire.]
By Vinnie Nauheimer
St. Peter, “What is that smell?”
“Its pope Benedict XVI, Jesus,” said St. Peter
But he’s not supposed to die for another couple of minutes.
I know Jesus, but his cologne always gets there five minutes before he does!
As philosophers remind us, in every piece of humor is some truth. What possible truths could be associated with an 84 year old pontiff having a custom blended scent made for him to wear as has recently been reported in the Italian press? Maybe the toilet water in the Vatican is backing up or maybe the stench of the rotting empire is too much to bear. Then again, maybe this is what happened:
The Story of how Sexual Abuse Became Policy
In the beginning there was clerical sexual abuse and then came all the hierarchal excuses for it. The excuses were nonsense and without merit. And darkness fell over the church, the victims and their families. And the victims, their families and the laity spoke among themselves telling each other, “This is a crock of shit and it stinks to high heaven.”
So the families went to the monsignor and said, “Clergy abuse is a bunch of crap and we can’t stand the stench!” And the monsignor went to the bishop and said to them, “Clerical abuse is like a container of excrement and a very strong one at that. The laity can’t stand it! The strong smell is driving people to leave the church.”
Note: This is an Abuse Tracker excerpt. Click the title to view the full text of the original article. If the original article is no longer available, see our News Archive.