UNITED STATES
Joyful Heart Foundation
We’ve all been reminded this week of the solace we found eleven years ago in the communal sense of shock and the shared resolve to heal from the horrible losses we experienced on September 11. No doubt, scars still remain. But together, we faced down our fear, we shored one another up against our new-found sense of vulnerability and shook off the stunning betrayal of our belief that we were safe from attack.
Whether we experienced the impact of 9/11 directly or indirectly, that spirit of mutual support has nurtured much of whatever healing we have achieved both as individuals and as a community.
In many ways, the power of that all-encompassing response to a huge catastrophe like 9/11, which had such devastating consequences for so many, may also hold valuable lessons for individuals who experience trauma on a less spectacular scale.
As we collectively mourned this week for the thousands who died on 9/11 and in the subsequent wars that those attacks unleashed, I was attending a national conference on abuse and trauma, including childhood sexual abuse. And as I sifted through both sad and inspiring memories from eleven years ago, I couldn’t help but wonder how child victims of sexual abuse might also be shored up by such an ongoing validation and community-wide declaration of support and nurturance for the traumatic disruption in their young lives.
But because sexual abuse is most often a private, rather than a public upheaval in a child’s world, children are more likely to find themselves fighting to restore a sense of safety on their own, in silence. And sadly, because of socialized norms of masculinity that discourage boys from disclosing feelings of vulnerability or fear, males who experience childhood sexual abuse may face an even higher hurdle to seeking outside help and support. Imagine the positive difference in the lives of our men, their families and communities if men’s acknowledgement of painful experiences and their expression of a range of deep emotions were encouraged rather than belittled by our cultural standards.
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