A Few Abused Men

UNITED STATES
Times of Israel

By Michael J. Salamon
The Times of Israel – Jan. 8, 2013

If you do not believe the generally accepted statistic that one in four women and about one in eight men are sexually abused I have had an interesting few days outside of my clinical practice that may enlighten you.

In the last two weeks, since news of a possible Yeshiva University abuse cover-up scandal broke, since the guilty verdicts leveled against Nechemya Weberman for his abuse of a young girl entrusted to his care for counseling and since I wrote and posted about Tamar and what had happened to her at the hand of her older brother more than 40 people have come forward telling me of their own history of abuse – but what was most significant was that to date 17 men have quietly and privately found the courage to tell me directly, face to face, of their own abuse. I think it is important to focus on these men. They have had the burden of keeping the secret as most abused children do, but also the burden of never showing weakness.

Most of these men told me that they never mentioned their experiences to anyone until they told me. Seven of the men were sexually abused in sleep away camps, at three camps in particular. Nine others were abused by rabbis or bar mitzvah teachers, two names were repeated by three of the men and some of the victims refused to mention their abusers name. One was abused by an older sibling. Most of the men are over the age of 40 and two of the men are in their late 50′s. They told of having been woken late at night in their camps and being told that they should get up for a special night of skinny dipping in the pool. They told of being in the showers while pictures and videos were taken of them. They told of teachers and rabbis who forced them sit on their laps or being touched sexually by them or being forced to touch the teachers sexually.

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