UNITED STATES
Christianity Today – Leadership Journal
Maureen Farrell Garcia
When I read Leadership Journal’s article “From Youth Minister to Felon” last year, I wasn’t surprised that it had gotten past the editors. I agree with the editors that it was a mistake to publish it, yet I also know what it is like to be unable to discern the harm in a sex offender’s words and to believe a sex offender’s version of reality.
I was married for more than a decade to a Christian man who engaged in disturbing secret behaviors that included sexually abusing a female relative between the ages of 9-12. When the child courageously disclosed the abuse and my husband was confronted, he admitted to some of his abusive behaviors. However, he did so while providing serious spin to the facts.
Still, he was convinced by our pastors to turn himself in to the police, and he pled guilty to a misdemeanor in order to avoid a more serious charge, a trial, and potential jail time. He received probation and court ordered counseling sessions.
Reading the controversial article released a torrent of memories. I identified with the abuser’s wife who was deceived, betrayed, and then casually implicated by her husband. Typical of sexual abusers, my former husband also offered many justifications and reasons for his abuse, all of which shifted the blame and responsibility to someone else.
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