UNITED STATES
Religion News Service – Rhymes with Religion
Boz Tchividjian | Nov 13, 2015
Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:13-15
This gospel passage is perhaps one of the most sobering illustrations of how we can spend a lot of time with Jesus and still overlook the intrinsic value of those who are greatly valued and loved by Him. It’s not because the disciples didn’t care about these children, it appears that they acted on a belief that the little ones interrupting Jesus were less important than the adults who were in the audience. The response of Jesus to their rebukes could not have communicated any clearer how much he values those who others overlook or disregard. Jesus demonstrates this same beautiful love over and over again in scripture. Our reluctance to acknowledge and embrace this truth not only hurts others, but it also exposes our failure to grasp the heart of the gospel message.
These same dynamics play out in faith communities whenever we fail to respond to child sexual abuse disclosures in a manner that demonstrates love and value to victims. Too often those who have been traumatized find themselves being rebuked and accused of interrupting the work of Jesus. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Rebuke was the method the disciples used in attempting to keep the children away from Jesus. To rebuke means to criticize sharply or to turn back or keep down. When church leaders, or anyone else for that matter, criticize, turn away, or keep down abuse survivors, they are attempting to keep these brave souls away from the unconditional love of Jesus. Though such rebuke takes various forms, it is often justified by piously placing greater value upon the work of the church or its leaders than those who have been abused and traumatized. I have stopped counting the number of times survivors have shared with me about how they were rebuked after stepping out of the shadows to disclose being abused. In fact, many have experienced what I would call a progression of rebuke. The progression usually begins with a gentle admonishment not to talk too much about it, coupled with a rationale that the admonishment is for the “well being” of the survivor. When a gentle admonishment fails to do the trick, the next step is often a strongly worded admonishment intended to intimidate the survivor into silence. If the strongly worded admonishment doesn’t work, the abuse survivor will often be criticized and shamed by those who demand their silence. When all else fails, leaders may attempt to marginalize or ostracize the survivor hoping they will simply walk away into a silent abyss. The few who survive this toxic process find themselves re-traumatized and faced with the realization that the church is not the place to see Jesus or experience his love. What a grave tragedy on so many levels.
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