SEATTLE (WA)
OSV News [Huntington IN]
May 14, 2025
By Cecilia Cicone
The seal of the confessional is one of the first things Catholic children learn as they are preparing for their first confession. At first, it comes as a shock to many children, prompting questions to test the limits of total confidentiality: What if I said I killed someone? Father won’t even tell my parents?
The answer to all of these questions is a firm answer, “No, under no circumstances will a priest repeat anything you say in confession.” This is because when someone confesses a sin, they are not really confessing it to their priest but to God himself; the priest does not forgive their sins, God does. To maintain the integrity of the sacrament, absolute confidence is required.
This fundamental principle to the sacrament of confession is being called into question more and more as governments work to limit child abuse, and especially in light of the child sex abuse scandal in the Catholic Church. Most recently, the governor of Washington signed a bill into law making clergy mandated reporters of child abuse without an exemption for learning of abuse within the sacrament of confession.
A survivor’s perspective
I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse who advocates for greater accountability and transparency in the church around the issue of abuse. I am also a staunch defender of the seal of confession even in cases of abuse.
For those unfamiliar with confession, it can seem like an easy way out, giving sinners the opportunity to be forgiven without having to confront the pain they have caused others. Penitents say their sins to a priest and, no matter what they were, they are forgiven and they can go on living their lives as if it never happened. But for Catholics who participate in the sacrament regularly, this is far from their experience in practice.
The theology of the sacrament of confession acknowledges that sin causes a rupture in our relationship with God, but it also causes a rupture in our relationship with others. While confession can heal our relationship with God, to heal the effects of our sins takes work that takes place outside of confession. This is the purpose of penance — although God has completely forgiven our sin, we must take action to amend our lives and seek justice for our wrongs.
Child abusers do not have a tendency of seeking law enforcement out to confess their crimes. If they harbor any guilt in their conscience at all, that would be a movement of the Holy Spirit, and if a child abuser were to actually seek out the sacrament of confession to admit to their crimes, it would be an enormous step toward justice.
Initially wishing to make peace with God, the sacrament of confession would be an intermediary to confronting the full reality of his or her abuse. This full reality would include taking responsibility for their actions outside of confession as well, likely at the encouragement of the priest who heard their confession.
If an abuser knew that a priest would immediately report his or her crimes as required by law, it is logical that they would not confess the abuse they perpetrated. They would simply not go to confession at all, or omit the crime in their confession. Their victims and society would be no closer to justice or healing.
Although there are obviously no statistics, the situation of an abuser going to confession and confessing their crimes is not something that likely happens often, despite being the primary focus around laws mandating priests to reveal what they hear during the sacrament. What is much more likely is that a child or someone who has been or is being abused will enter the confessional burdened by their abuser’s crimes.
A child who is experiencing abuse or an adult who has experienced abuse is likely to be overwhelmed with a sense of guilt and shame, holding onto a secret that is not theirs to hold. The weight of this shame, of feeling that the abuse makes someone “bad,” or the fear of violence or repercussions is often what keeps victims from speaking about what is happening to them or what has happened.
‘Sacred space’
Jesus instituted the sacrament of confession by giving the apostles the power to “bind and loose sins,” holding these little ones in his heart. The very heart of Jesus wants to console them, and they deserve a place where they can be assured of their worth and God’s love for them without being overwhelmed by fear of their abusers. Without this sacred space, many would — and many do — have nowhere to turn.
An analogous example to removing the sacramental seal for cases of abuse is the mandated reporting laws in my home state of Delaware. In Delaware, all child abuse must be reported even if it took place decades ago and even if the abuser is deceased. This is a law which, like the new mandated reporting law in Washington state, seems to protect children who may be in danger of being harmed by someone who has perpetrated violence in the past.
When I first went to a doctor’s office to seek help with the effects of my abuse, I sat in a waiting room that was covered in signs informing me that anything I disclosed relating to abuse, even in the past, would be reported as required by law. I was deathly afraid of my abusers, and the mere idea of a report and investigation was enough for me to refuse to be honest with my doctor about what had happened. It delayed my healing, and my abusers were no closer to being brought to justice.
Being unable to be honest with a doctor for fear of safety is one thing. Creating a situation in which victim-survivors may feel unsafe being honest with God is a violation of religious freedom and causes direct harm.
Children and all vulnerable populations deserve laws that truly protect them, and society needs laws that prevent harm and bring about justice when their laws are violated. Mandating priests to break the sacramental seal of the confessional does not advance these aims. Instead, it creates a barrier between individuals and their God, who is both just and merciful.
Cecilia Cicone is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and an advocate for Catholics experiencing mental illness. You can connect with her at ceciliacicone.com or on X or Instagram @cecsquared
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