‘My brain was seared’: Fifty years later, Delbarton grad testifies in landmark abuse case

MORRISTOWN (NJ)
Morristown Green [Morristown, NJ]

September 19, 2025

By Kevin Coughlin

The alleged victim took the witness stand Thursday in Morristown and, in stark detail, described being sexually abused nearly 50 years ago by a monk in a barn at the Delbarton School.

“My brain was seared from what happened,” the man, identified only as T.M., testified calmly, almost clinically. Until his lawyer pressed him about his trauma from that New Year’s morning in 1976.

Recounting a shattered faith, a broken marriage, and dark memories triggered when he unzips his fly in a public restroom, T.M. grew emotional about two hours into his testimony, in a landmark hearing that has drawn intense interest from the media and religious community.

It is the first of hundreds of sexual abuse cases against the Catholic Church in New Jersey to reach trial, and the first of 39 such lawsuits filed against Delbarton.

“I never wanted to admit what I’ve had to admit here. So I hide from it. And it kills me. It tears me up. I never want it to happen to anyone,” T.M. said tearfully, his voice quavering.

He seeks damages from the Morris Township boys prep school, an enclave that spans 187 wooded acres a few miles from Morristown.

Delbarton denies T.M.’s allegations, as does the man he has accused of molesting him. The former Rev. Richard Lott, now 89, testified this week that he was off campus, down the Shore at a Lakewood church, when T.M. claims the incident occurred.

Characterizing the accusations as “outrageous,” defense lawyers say the plaintiff was employed for 40 years, married for almost two decades, and maintained contact with Lott  — behaviors they contend do not suggest trauma.

A yearbook photo shown in court Thursday depicted the teen-aged T.M. working for the school maintenance crew, which was overseen by Lott. The monk also taught chemistry. He was popular, “a very engaging person, (who) showed an interest in people…there was a wisdom about him,” T.M. said.

Lott’s quarters in the secluded barn were a student hangout. Under-aged drinking — Budweiser was Lott’s preference, according to T.M. — became “de rigueur.” When boys relieved themselves outside the barn, T.M. testified, Lott sometimes followed. A few times, he said, using graphic terms, he felt the monk touch his backside.

When school shut down for the 1975 Christmas holiday, T.M. was invited back to work on campus.

On New Year’s Eve, T.M. said, Lott took him to a party in Brookside, got him drunk and,  after everyone watched a televised Times Square celebration usher in America’s Bicentennial year, took him back to the barn. T.M. said he passed out on a couch, and was awakened to find Lott performing oral sex on him.

When the alleged act was finished, T.M. testified, he fled, seeking entry to campus buildings that all were locked. Lott allegedly shouted after him: “I love you.” Out of options, T.M. said, he returned to the barn for the night.

He told no one about what allegedly had happened.

“I was ashamed of it. Afraid if I brought that up, I would be judged,” blamed, and doubted. “Why would they believe me?”

Soon after he graduated in 1977, T.M. broke his silence in a letter to Abbott Brian Clarke, then head of the school. At a meeting, T.M. said, Clarke told him Lott had admitted everything and advised T.M. to move on with his life and forget about the incident; “he would take care of it.”

In a deposition before his death in 2019, Clarke, for whom a school gym is named, said he had destroyed T.M.’s letter.

T.M., a slightly built man now in his 60s, sued in 2017 and amended his complaint in 2020.  In between, the school acknowledged 30 individuals had been abused by 13 priests or monks and one non-clerical faculty member, over decades. As of 2018, Delbarton had settled at least eight cases, with seven others still in litigation, by the school’s admission.

New Jersey’s Child Victims Act of 2019 eased the statute of limitations, creating a two-year window enabling many victims of childhood abuse to come forward.

Established in 1939 by Benedictine monks of St. Mary’s Abbey, Delbarton now teaches 646 boys in grades 7 through 12. For their annual tuition of about $49,000, they enjoy a pupil-to-teacher ratio of less than 8:1. Alumni include Yankees shortstop Anthony Volpe and Game of Thrones star Peter Dinklage

T.M. said the alleged assault and Delbarton’s response destroyed his trust in the Church. He attributes failed relationships and sexual dysfunction to the alleged incident’s “progressive, corrosive effect.” Visits to public rest rooms trigger dark memories, he told the court. His marriage ended after 18 years; he was unable to open up to his wife about his trauma.

“I constructed a shell around myself…I’d been hiding a secret for years.”

When pressed about this by his attorney, Michael Geibelson, T.M. choked up.

He said he did not want others to ever experience what he did.

The civil trial, which began on Sept. 9, is being heard by a jury of four men and four women before Superior Court Judge Louis Sceusi. It resumes next week.

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