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  Methodists Discuss Need for Sexual Guidelines in Churches

By Bonnie N. Davis
Morning Sentinel
September 25, 2006

http://morningsentinel.mainetoday.com/news/local/3155852.shtml

Winthrop -- United Methodist churches need to be more open in discussing sexual issues and learn to recognize the signs of both parishioners and clergy crossing the thin boundary lines that may result in sexual harassment, abuse or illicit sex a noted author and therapist taught this week.

"We need for churches to be able to talk about sex - traditionally a taboo subject. This taboo perpetuates shame, sexual abuse and secrets," The Rev. Dr. Karen A. McClintock told local Methodist pastors and laity in her Healthy Boundaries, Healthy Congregations workshop.

Because of the sexual abuse exposed in the Roman Catholic Church, other denominations see the necessity of teaching warning signs and prevention. All clergy and appointed personnel in the 500 United Methodist's New England Conference churches are required to attend this workshop.

According to McClintock:

  • 77% of lay women & 84% of women clergy in the UMC have experienced sexual harassment in church

  • one in three women and one in five men in our society have experienced sexual violations

  • one in 10 clergy across multiple denominations have engaged in boundary violations

  • 76% of people across multiple denominations knew of clergy who had sex with someone in their congregation

"No church ever believes it will happen to them; no pastor believes they will be tempted in this way. The truth is that sexual boundaries are crossed in churches causing great harm to God's children. The first step in preventing such situations is talking openly about the dangers, the harm, and the solutions," said The Rev. Dr. Thomas Blackstone, pastor of Green Street UMC in Augusta.

The Rev. Tim Wilcox, pastor of Fairfield & Fairfield Center United Methodist Church, said, "The message was not new to me since recent seminary classes include boundary and sexual abuse training." He added that pastors are not family members but professionals accountable under Maine law.

The Rev. Arlene Tully, pastor of Pleasant Street United Methodist Church in Waterville, said, "The pastor is an authority figure and must strive to set professional boundaries. Anything we can do to prevent boundary crossing issues is better than doing intervention and healing after an incident."

She said that, in the past, a single minister was often encouraged by the older women in the church to date likely candidates for marriage -- now a serious violation of ethics.

Tully sees that churches attract pedophiles and sexual predators, where forgiveness, openness and trust are taught to adults, while children are told to be nice, polite, obey and honor their elders, so they often keep quiet about sexual abuse.

"Both children and adults must define their own personal boundaries so that they will not be violated," said Tully.

Wilcox said, "Self monitoring is needed -- we must be aware of warning signs -- unusually close relationships with staff, extravagant gifts, and sharing confidentialities.

 
 

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