UNITED STATES
Voice from the Desert
Mary Gail Frawley-O’Dea, Ph.D.
February 23, 2012
Voice of the Faithful of Southwest Florida
Naples, Florida
When I was a doctoral student at Adelphi University in the 1980s, Morris Eagle, a respected senior psychoanalyst gave an afternoon colloquium during which he was asked to reflect on what characterized a successful therapeutic journey. He responded that, after decades of practice, he could say that patients who “got better” were those who could and would mourn while those who could not or would not mourn tended to experience more limited growth over the course of a psychoanalysis.
Now with almost as many years of practice experience as Morris had then, I can say that I agree with him wholeheartedly. While Eagle referred to psychological growth that afternoon, I propose that a failure to mourn impedes psychological, relational, social, political and spiritual growth. Further, I contend that the Catholic crisis of corrupted power, mis-defined as a sexual abuse crisis, has been marked by a colossal failure of mourning among too many within almost every Church constituency. This failure to mourn has influenced corrupt power plays among the hierarchy; manic attempts to restore the forever gone among some victims; denial, silence and empty platitudes among many priests; and studied naivete among a large portion of laity. So – in other words, I may offend everyone sitting here tonight! But, let me begin anyway……
Introduction to Mourning
No one makes it from the cradle to the grave without confronting deep, even heartbreaking, disappointments, betrayals, and losses. There are life’s inevitable losses. From the pre-schooler who is rushed to the ER with a burst appendix and has to spend Halloween in the pediatric ward instead of trick or treating with his fellow goblins and ghouls; to the high school senior who gets only a one-page rejection from her first choice college; to the husband and father who comes back from lunch on Friday to find a pink slip announcing his part in the latest corporate downsizing; to the marathon running 50-something year old whose annual mammogram shows a nasty lump; to the ninety-year young senior widowed after 60 years of good enough marriage; we all are subject to assaults that shift the ground we once found firm and challenge much of what we thought we knew about life, people, ourselves and the Divine.
Note: This is an Abuse Tracker excerpt. Click the title to view the full text of the original article. If the original article is no longer available, see our News Archive.