UNITED STATES
The Worthy Adversary
Posted by Joelle Casteix on May 28, 2012
Talking to your teen about sexual abuse? Don’t worry. Just take a deep breath and keep reading.
If your kids are younger, start here.
Usually, teen victims will reach out to their peers—friends who have no training, few skills and lack the maturity to properly report the abuse to the cops and get the victim help. Many times, the victim will swear the friend to secrecy. The friend, seeing how the victim has already been hurt and betrayed, will readily keep the secret. If the abuser is a teacher of someone the friend knows, the peer will keep the secret out of fear.
It’s a lose-lose: We have another teen who is suffering from vicarious trauma, fear and stress because they are forced to “keep the secret.” This happened in my own case, and the long-term wounds that many of my high school classmates suffered were just as deep and long-lasting as my own. Teen victims are also more likely to be blamed for the abuse (“Why did you keep going back?” “Why didn’t you just punch the guy?” “You must have wanted it.”), so the lifetime effects of the abuse can be more debilitating and shameful for everyone involved.
You’re a parent of a teenager. What the hell do you do now?
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