UNITED STATES
Minnesota SNAP
By Vinnie Nauheimer
Mary, having heard the cries of the suffering children and the prayers of a laity in the throws of turmoil, intercedes on their behalf with Jesus. He too is exceedingly dismayed by what his church has become, the hierarchy’s adamant refusal to change, the poor disenfranchised faithful, and decides to take action. He summons the Furies, whose job it is to punish those who break sacred trusts by sending them to, Judecca, which is a section of Dante’s Ninth Circle of hell reserved for those who, by betraying their God, their vows, and humanity, have committed crimes with great historical and societal consequences. The Furies are relentless in their pursuit of these defilers of faith and never stop pursuing either them or those who support them.
When the Furies are in his midst, Jesus charges them to seek out the laity and spell out the crimes of the hierarchy to them. Knowing full well the capacity of Catholics to rebuff the verbalization of hierarchal crimes as “Church Bashing,” and remembering, Doubting Thomas, Jesus admonishes the Furies to only mention crimes that have made headline news over the past ten years concentrating on the ones that have most recently been publicized, are Internet searchable and have been confirmed by the press thereby leaving little doubt in the laity’s mind as to the true nature of their hierarchy. In keeping with their task, the Furies have gathered the laity and are reciting the litany of hierarchal crimes against children, law, society and God. The laity responds with its own litany.
The Furies: A couple of weeks ago in Cardinal Dolan’s old diocese, Milwaukee, according to Judge Susan V. Kelley, the depositions of bishops Weakland and Sklba contained material so “scandalous”, that she would not release them to the public, apparently afraid of the impact they will have on the church’s reputation and ability to function as a business.
Parishioners: But, that’s not my church!
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