ILLINOIS
The Southern
MOLLY PARKER The Southern
This is the full Q&A, with minor edits, of the interview The Southern Illinoisan conducted last week with Paul Wesselmann, who grew up in Carbondale, for the story that published Sunday titled “Light shines out of darkness.” Wesselmann said he wanted to speak out about being victimized at a Catholic church camp in Southern Illinois in the mid-1980s so that his story of healing might encourage other victims of abuse to reach out for help, and know they are not alone.
1. Let’s start off with the basics. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Born June 2, 1967 (currently 49 years old; will turn 50 in a few weeks!) I grew up in Carbondale. I attended Thomas, Parish and Lewis schools as well as Lincoln Junior High & CCHS Class of 1985.
I attended McKendree University in Lebanon (BA psychology, 1989), and then left Southern Illinois to attend grad school at Bowling Green State University, Ohio (MA, higher education, 1991). After that I lived in Wisconsin 1991-2012, and currently reside in Cincinnati, Ohio (2012-present).
2. Describe what it has been like to live with the abuse you endured.
I didn’t really experience it as a burden or trauma at first … it just seemed a normal part of life because that was the life I knew. I think the most damaging outcome of the actual abuse was assuming that my feelings of attraction to other guys was somehow related to what happened to me, and the fear that I myself could/would become a predator terrified me for years — well into adulthood in fact. The church’s concealment of the abuse contributed to the shame I felt, and made it tough to trust and respect others.
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