February 28, 2019
Cardinal George Pell’s bail has been revoked after sexual assault guilty verdict
My heart broke on Tuesday.
Not because I feel any sympathy for George Pell. I don’t. I will never shed a tear for him.
My chest felt heavy all day because two more poor souls have joined a club no one ever chooses to be part of, a tragic group of people from all walks of life, children, the disabled, nuns, in all corners of the globe, joined together by a common truth — their lives have been ruined by paedophile priests.
We are a club united by waves of shame, anger, worthlessness and guilt that wash over us when we least expect it, a club of people trying to run as fast as we can from the dark shadow that has haunted our lives.
I was abused by two priests.
My parents were devout Catholics, the Church was at the heart and soul of my family and my parent’s proudest day was when I joined the convent and my twin brother Michael the priesthood.
Two children to the Church! God’s glory shone down on my family.
I joined the Church to escape the abuse I’d endured by a priest in my teens, and also at the hands of my father. The convent offered a safe space, except it didn’t.
After years of struggle and anguish, I confided my darkest secret to a priest who then took advantage of my incredibly vulnerable state. He knew I was emotionally weak and he preyed upon me. I blamed myself, punished myself, I believed I was a bad person and I was going straight to hell, it was all my fault. I left the Church soon after.
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