Adults are also ‘groomed’ for sexual abuse. I was. By a church pastor.

Healing From Complex Trauma blog

I have been asked several times, how to identify if an adult is/has been groomed for sexual abuse, by an abuser.

I was ‘groomed’, by a narcissistic pastor. I was very vulnerable, and he used that for to his advantage. Seeking to get me alone, talking about highly inappropriate things – like telling me how many pastors have affairs, discussing sexual intimacy with me in detail, inappropriate touching and hugging, all whilst alone with him, in my home. He told me he had feelings for me, he should only have for his wife. So, clearly did not see me as a sister, which was how he termed his ‘feelings’, earlier on in the grooming process.

He broke every rule of pastoral counselling, didn’t keep any records, hadn’t told his senior pastor where he was, and then lied about it all.

This below is great info about adult grooming.

http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/Grooming.html

Definition: Grooming is the predatory act of maneuvering another individual into a position that makes them more isolated, dependent, likely to trust, and more vulnerable to abusive behavior.

Description: Grooming is a insidious predatory tactic, utilized by abusers. Grooming is practiced by Narcissists, Antisocial predators, con-artists and sexual aggressors, who target and manipulate vulnerable people for exploitation.

Child grooming is the deliberate act of establishing an emotional bond with a child, to lower the child’s resistance. Child grooming can result in the minor falling victim to physical, sexual and emotional abuse, or specifically, to manipulate children into participating in slave labor, prostitution, and/or the production of child pornography.

Adult grooming is correspondent to child grooming and applies to any situation where an adult is primed to allow him or herself to be exploited or abused. While it is a common assumption that grooming is only practiced on the very young, identical emotional and psychological processes are commonly used to abuse or exploit adults the elderly, and those with compromised mental facilities.

An predator will identify and engage a victim and work to gain the target’s trust, break down defenses, and manipulate the victim until they get whatever it is they are after. Overt attention, verbal seduction (flattery / ego stroking), recruitment, physical isolation, charm, gift-giving, normalizing, gaslighting, secrecy, and threats are all hallmarks of grooming.

Note: This is an Abuse Tracker excerpt. Click the title to view the full text of the original article. If the original article is no longer available, see our News Archive.