LONG ISLAND (NY)
Long Island Herald
April 11, 2019
By Anthony O’Reilly
When I see stories of sexual abuse by clergy members, I’m often angry with many people. Mostly, I’m angry with those who allowed the abuse to go on uninterrupted for years, whether they be church officials who helped cover it up, or the older generation of Catholics, who wouldn’t believe victims because they didn’t think priests would commit such heinous acts.
For years, it seemed so easy to me: Catholics are taught from an early age not to lie, and that withholding the truth is a form of lying. At Mass, we often hear of the Golden Rule preached by Jesus Christ: “Do to others what you want them to do to you.” (Matthew 7:12.) How, then, could we hear of these horrible acts and not want to expose the bad priests and bring an end to the abuse? Doesn’t our faith command us to do so?
I always thought I would speak up if I found myself in that situation. But I didn’t.
In 2011, I worked as a sacristan, setting the altar before Mass and caring for the church, at my home parish of Holy Family in Fresh Meadow, Queens. One of the priests, the Rev. Lou Aufiero, was an old family friend who had baptized my youngest brother. For months we got along well, and talked often in the rectory. But our relationship changed after what started as an innocent discussion about my ethnicity. “My father is Irish and my mother is Hungarian,” I told him.
“You know what’s the good thing about Hungarians?” he asked. I shook my head, not knowing where he was going with this. “They’re good-looking and well-hung,” he answered with a chuckle. I remember being in shock for the rest of the day, and for a few days after that, at what he had said.
From then on, I viewed Aufiero’s friendly gestures with suspicion, and tried my best to keep my distance from him, though I acted cordial when in his presence. I was 19 at the time, and never thought I was in any danger around him. Still, something about him never seemed right after that remark.
I told only a handful of people what had happened, mostly close friends and one of my brothers. But I never reported the incident, even as I heard others’ stories about what they saw as Aufiero’s suspicious behavior.
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